Memories of You
by jimisan
Summary: Tokio Hotel: After a car crash, Bill loses all of his memory. How will he cope with the fans, his family, and his relationship with Tom? Twincest
1. It Happened in a Flash

It Happened In A Flash

It Happened In A Flash

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Tom Kaulitz grinned wide, his eyes scanning the road before him. The four of them, Georg, Gustav, Bill and he, were driving down the road to the beach. They had a few days to themselves, and Tom had a new car. Tom glanced in his rearview mirror, before turning in his seat to quickly smack Bill for saying something stupid. It was only a glance, his attention was gone for only a moment, but thats all it took. Tom slammed his foot down on the brakes, a second too late to stop the large vehicle from careening into the large semi truck in front of them. Tom had only a second to consider what was happening, before his entire world went black.

Tom frowned slightly, his eyes still not open. He could hear the sounds of people moving around him, and he thought he may be in a bed. Tom opened his eyes slowly, taking in the scene before him. He realized he was in a hospital room, and then he realized he was alone. What am I hearing, then? He glanced over at the door, which he discovered had been left open. Tom groaned. He was sore, he had a headache, and he wasnt entirely sure what he was doing in a hospital bed.

And then Tom remembered. He remembered the crash, remembered yelling for at his friends, and then remembered immense pain and much loud noise. Tom sat up and swung his legs around, placing his bare feet on the cold tile floor. Damnit, havent they ever heard of carpet? Tom thought angrily. He shivered and stood up, walking carefully over to the open door. He peeked out cautiously, before sneaking quietly along the hall. He wondered where Bill and the others were. Tom nearly jumped when someone behind him yelled his name. He turned to see Georg and Gustav running towards him down the narrow hall. Tom smiled.

Tom! Youre up? Gustav asked, grinning. Tom nodded, looking them over. A few cuts and bruises, but they seemed alright. They hadnt been hospitalized, after all, so he figured they mustve been better off than him.

Where.. wheres Bill? Tom asked. Both boys faces dropped slightly, and Tom panicked. He, hes alright, isnt he? Georg quickly reached a hand out to calm him.

Dont worry, Bills fine. Hes here. He just.. Georg trailed off, looking at Gustav. Here, lets go see him. Georg squeezed Toms shoulder reassuringly, and started off down the hall. Tom looked at Gustav, who shrugged, and they followed after Georg. They came to a room near the end of the hall, and Georg carefully pushed the door open, peering in. Go on. Tom nodded and stepped into the room, the door closing behind him.

Tom looked around the room, his eyes finally resting on Bill. Bills eyes were closed, seemed to be okay, just.. asleep. Tom quickly walked over to him and sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. Bill shifted in his sleep, and opened his eyes.

Bill. Tom couldnt help but smile, his little brother was okay. No, Bill was more than that. Bill was his whole life, his lover. Tom pulled Bill close to him in a tight hug, but Bill resisted. Tom pulled back, confused. Billa?

Whore you? Bill glared at him, pulling out of his embrace. Tom nearly choked.

I.. who am I? Tom laughed nervously, but Bill just stared at him. You.. are you serious? Bill huffed.

I dont know who you think you are, but I dont appreciate your attitude. Now I will request that you kindly leave. Bill crossed his arms in front of his chest. Tom thought he may have just died a little on the inside, his little brother didnt know who he was.

But, Bill! I.. we.. I mean.. Tom didnt know what to say. He turned as he heard the door open, and a tall doctor walked into the room. He was looking down at a clipboard in his hand, but stopped when he looked up and saw Tom.

Ah, Mr. Kaulitz. The doctor nodded at Tom. May I have a word with you? Tom nodded blankly, getting up and walking over to the man. Bill seemed to have lost interest in them, having turned on the television. Tom recognized the music as the opening theme for Spongebob. He smiled as Bill giggled happily at the sponge on the screen. The doctor gestured towards the door, and Tom stepped outside, followed closely by the doctor.

Whats wrong, why doesnt my little brother remember me? Tom asked, hoping the doctor could make it better, make Bill remember. The tall man sighed, looking away for a moment.

During the impact of the crash, your brother suffered severe trauma to his head. We believe this has caused a form of Retrograde Traumatic amnesia, causing him to lose all memory of the time before he woke up here this morning. Tom stared at the doctor blankly. Retro what? The doctor smiled, seeming to understand.

Basically, Mr. Kaulitz, Bill was hit fairly hard during the impact, causing a case of amnesia. Now, whether its going to be permanent or not.. The doctor trailed off, hoping Tom would understand. Toms head swam, and he thought he might faint. His brother didnt remember anything, and may never remember, and it was entirely Toms fault. Tom staggered over to a chair, and sat down quickly. The doctor sat down next to him, and spoke softly.

Now, this may be only temporary. Sometime today or tomorrow, Bill will be up to leaving. I suggest you take him around to places you go often. It may trigger something. But, be careful. Dont press him, it may only make it worse. The doctor smiled and nodded, getting up and walking away. Tom was awestruck. It imay/i only be temporary.. May? Tom couldnt believe it. With no memory of the last several years, hell, of their whole lives, how would Bill handle all the screaming fangirls? How would he cope with the press, and being watched constantly? It was hard enough to deal with when you knew what the hell was going on.

Tom sighed and got up, walking back down the hall to his room. Technically, the doctor hadnt told him he could go home, and Tom was tired. He climbed back into the small bed and curled up in a ball. He hoped tomorrow would come quickly.

Come on, Bill. Tom grinned at his brother. Bill frowned slightly, but walked over to Tom anyways. They had finally been properly introduced, but Bill still found it hard to believe the other boy was his brother, let alone his twin. Bill trudged down the halls of the hospital next to Tom, confused at some of the looks he was getting. A lot of people seemed to be staring, almost in awe. He fidgeted nervously as the elevator doors closed behind them. Tom noticed he was nervous, and bumped into him playfully. Bill looked over at him, and he smiled.

So, where are we going, exactly? Tom was silent a moment.

Uhm, home. But, Bill? Tom looked at him, concerned. Outside the hospital.. there are probably going to be a lot of people. Bill cocked his head to the side, confused.

Why would there be?

Er, cause youre.. were famous. I just wanted to warn you, there will probably be a lot of screaming girls. The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. Bill followed Tom out into the main lobby, contemplating. Sure enough, as soon as the stepped out the doors and into the street, they were met by many loud screams. Bill jumped, surprised. He looked around, wide eyed, at the dozens of girls. He decided there had to be at least a hundred, most of which were screaming his name. Bill flinched as Tom put an arm around his shoulders, guiding him through a part in the crowd towards a parked car. There were several large men in suits, holding the screaming girls at bay. A large man opened the door of the car as they approached, smiling down at them.

Thanks, Saki. Saki nodded, and closed the door behind them. Bill gasped for air, realizing he had been holding his breath.

They.. wow. Bill seemed unsure what to say. He looked over at Tom, who was smiling down at him. I.. I really am famous, arent I? Tom snorted.

Yeah, but dont think you get all the attention. He winked. Bill blushed, not sure why. His body seemed to react instinctively, and Bill was confused as to why his brother had made him blush. He looked up at Tom oddly, but Tom had focused his attention at the buildings flashing by outside the window. Bill sighed, leaning back in his seat. He didnt know how much more of this he could take, and he wondered how it would be when they reached their house.


	2. Home Is Where the Heart Is

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Home Is Where The Heart Is

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Bill yawned as he felt Tom nudge his arm.

Wake up, sleepy head. Were home. Tom climbed out of the car, and Bill groaned. He opened the car door and stepped out onto the.. dirt? Bill looked around and gasped. They were no longer in the city, but rather in front of a small house with a large yard. He looked behind him, towards the street, and saw a picket fence surrounding the house, and another, similar, house across the street. Bill turned back to the house before him and smiled. It was a small, two story home with a large porch. Bill heard a dog barking not too far off, and spotted a cat sitting lazily on a bench near the front door. Bill jumped as a woman burst through the front door, and began running towards him.

Bill! The woman pulled Bill to her tight, and Bill looked to Tom, not sure what to do. Tom chuckled and walked over.

Hey, mom. Let him go, I think youre scaring him. The woman stepped back, smiling, and then suddenly was crushing Tom in another large hug. Tom grinned and looked over at Bill, who was still standing there oddly.

Er. Bill shifted slightly.

Come! Ive made dinner, lets head inside. Gordons waiting for us. Simone began walking briskly toward the house, not looking back to see if they had followed. Tom laughed again.

Come on, Bill. Tom reached a hand out to Bill, who took it, nodding. As they stepped up onto the porch, Tom stopped to pet the cat. Hey, Kasimir.. The cat purred, arching her back up into Toms hand. Bill smiled, stepping closer to pet the small creature. Tom watched a moment, and then pulled slightly on Bills shirt, urging him to follow as he stepped in through the front door. Bill reluctantly left the purring cat, and stepped into the house behind his brother.

Bill sighed, breathing in the smell of the house. He smelled oak, no doubt coming from the house itself, and a fragrant scent somewhat similar to.. Was that spaghetti? He smiled as he walked into the small kitchen, and discovered it was. Simone looked up at him and grinned.

I made your favorite, dear. She said, going back to work on preparing the meal. Gordon looked up from slicing bread, and grinned widely at the twins.

It smells delicious. Bill smiled, still a little unsure of himself in this home he had no memory of. Something about it seemed familiar, comfortable even, but nothing was coming to mind. Bill sighed, and sat down in a chair beside the dinner table. Tom sat down next to him, and placed a hand on his knee. Bill looked up into concerned eyes, that very much resembled his own. He still found that a little disconcerting, looking at Tom and seeing his own face. He figured he would get used to it, it wasnt exactly a bad feeling. Just odd, he decided.

In fact, Bill and Tom looked very much alike. Not that anyone had any trouble telling them apart. They were polar opposites, and yet, the same in every way. Some people didnt understand this, thinking the twins had nothing in common besides their faces, and, of course, their DNA. Bill thought about things like that sometimes. It seemed almost impossible to him that anyone could have identical DNA to another. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, Bill thought. He wasnt sure how he managed to remember that, and yet he couldnt remember his own family. That was what confused him more than anything. He still had the same knowledge, the same understanding of the world, he just couldnt seem to remember anything of any real importance. Like his family, his friends, his life.

Dinner will be ready in just a moment. Tom, dear, would you please set the table? Simone asked as she poured the spaghetti sauce into the bowl of noodles. Tom glanced at Bill once more, then stood up.

Sure thing, mom. Bill watched as his brother pulled out plates and glasses, placing them all on the table. He smiled down at Bill as he walked past him, heading back to the drawers for silver ware. Bill sighed once more. He knew he should have offered to help, but he didnt think hed be much help, not exactly sure where anything was kept. Tom didnt seem to mind, though, as he quickly set the table and went to help their step-father with the toast. Bill watched as his brother happily sprinkled garlic on the bread, laughing as Gordon made a comment about his caps.

That reminds me. Tom, youll take your hat ioff/i at the dinner table. Simone glared at Tom, brandishing her spoon at him. Tom laughed and nodded. Bill watched the scene before him, and his heart dropped. This was his family. iHis/i family. And yet, nothing was familiar to him. He didnt remember this city, this house. Hell, he couldnt even remember his own mother. Bill looked down at his hands in his lap, and played with one of his several rings. Bill wished he could remember, wished things would go back to normal. Whatever normal is, he thought with a sigh. Tom looked over at him, that concerned look back on his face. Bill felt bad, he was worrying his brother, and he smiled wide.

That looks amazing. Bill said as Simone placed the large spaghetti bowl in the center of the table. She beamed down at him, then glared at Tom.

See, he may not remember me, but atleast he remebers his manners! Her glare softened, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. Tom laughed, walking over and hugging her.

Yes mother. Tom leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Simone smiled, and walked over to Gordon, fussing at him over too much butter on the toast. Bill watched, amused, as Gordon tried, and failed, to defend himself against the short little woman. Tom chuckled, sitting down next to Bill once more. Bill looked over at Tom, and he was suddenly filled with an odd feeling. It was only there a second, before Tom looked away, and it left Bill confused. He frowned slightly, looking curiously at his brothers slightly flushed face. He decided to ignore it, and instead focus on the meal before him as his mom and Gordon sat down at the table with them.

Mm. Dinner was good. Bill said, yawning. He looked up at Tom from his seat on the bed, and smiled. Tom sat down next to him, uncomfortably close. Bill shifted akwardly, not sure what to think of the sudden closeness. Tom reached up, lightly caressing Bills face, and Bill flinched. Um. Tom sighed, letting his hand drop into his lap.

I just wish.. oh, nevermind. Tom looked away, slightly forlorn. Bill instantly felt bad, and scooted a little closer to his twin.

Tomi? Bill wasnt quite sure why he called him that, but it sounded right. Tom glanced up at him, a slight smile on his face. Tom reached up once more, cupping Bills face in his hands. He leaned in, lightly kissing Bills cheek. Bills eyes widened slightly, still unsure. He looked at Tom oddly as he pulled away. He was fairly surprised to feel a blush dancing its way onto his cheeks, and realizing it was happening only made him blush harder. Tom chuckled and stood up.

You might want to go ahead and get some sleep. Ill be in the room across the hall, if you need me. Tom stood there a moment longer, then turned and left, closing the door softly behind him. Bill sighed, falling backwards onto the bed. He kicked his shoes off, and crawled under the covers, not bothering to undress. He blinked, realizing the light was still on, but was too tired to get up and turn it off. He lay in bed a while, staring at the door where Tom had been only moments before. Bill yawned again, his eyes slowly drifting closed.

Bill gasped, and sat up quickly in his bed. His heart was racing, and he was sweating. Bill looked around the room, momentarily forgetting where he was, his sticky hair clinging to his face. He realized the light was still on, and remembered he was at their house, he had fallen asleep without turning it off. Bill glanced at the clock, discovering it was nearly 3 am. Bill groaned and climbed out of bed, staggering across the room to the door. He hit the light switch as he stepped out into the hall, plunging the small bedroom into darkness. He closed the door behind him, and then took the few steps across the hall, stopping in front of Toms door. He hesitated, not sure whether he should knock or not. He decided not to, and quietly pushed the door open.

Bill stepped cautiously into the dark room and closed the door, then carefully made his way towards the dark mass that was Toms bed. Bill lowered himself onto the bed, stopping as Tom stirred. He didnt really want to wake Tom, he just didnt want to sleep alone. He climbed under Toms blankets, scooting towards Tom a little bit. He rolled over to face the door, his back to Tom. He froze as he felt Toms arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Bill relaxed when Tom didnt move, thinking he was asleep.

I love you. Tom whispered through the darkness, gently kissing the back of Bills head. Bill sighed, nuzzling himself up against his brothers body. He could get used to this feeling, he decided.


	3. Knocking is for Strangers

Bill opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the bright morning light coming through the curtain-less window. He groaned and rolled over, right into Tom. Bill squeaked, surprised to find his face so close to his brother's. Tom mumbled something, and pulled Bill closer. Bill's eyes widened as Tom kissed him gently, his eyes finally opening. Tom smiled, seeing Bill at last.

"G'morning." Tom yawned. Bill just stared at Tom, shocked to have been kissed. Tom frowned slightly, and then comprehension dawned on his face. "Oh." Tom quickly let go of Bill, who jumped back, standing up quickly.

"Um. Good morning. I'm gonna... I'll be downstairs." Bill said, blushing a deep pink. He quickly turned and left the room, nearly walking straight into the door as he did so. Once at the bottom of the stairs, Bill sat down on the last step. Why had Tom.. kissed him? He tentatively pressed a finger to his lips, remembering the feel of Tom's mouth against his. He blushed even harder, realizing it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. Bill jumped as Simone came into his view, looking down at him oddly.

"You okay, honey?" She asked, the concern apparent in her voice. Bill jumped up quickly, grinning widely to hide his consternation.

"Great! What's for breakfast?" He asked, trying to sound excited. He figured he must have succeeded, as Simone's face lit up, and she said something about Gordon working on that now. Bill nodded and followed her into the kitchen, sighing as the smell of bacon reached his nose. He smiled, sitting down in the same seat he had taken the night before. Bill watched in silence as Gordon and Simone bustled around the kitchen, making food. It was only a few minutes before the sound of Tom coming down the stairs could be heard. Bill blushed, remembering what had happened just earlier.

"Hey, mom!" Tom walked into the room, grinning. He looked around the room and, spotting Bill, came to sit beside him once more. "So, uh." Tom winced slightly.

"Don't worry about it." Bill smiled slightly, then turned to watch his mother. He saw Tom nod and lean back in his chair from the side of his vision. Bill sighed, letting his shoulders slump. He leaned forward, elbow on his knee, and rested his chin on his hand.

"So, what are you boys up to today?" Gordon asked, looking up at them from his place before the stove. Tom shrugged.

"Don't know. Figure I'll take Bill around town, reintroduce him to all his friends." Gordon nodded.

"I'm sure Andreas is looking forward to seeing him again." He said, eyes back on the bacon in the frying pan. Tom laughed, and Bill looked over at him.

"I can't wait to see that. As soon as he finds out about Bill's.." Tom glanced over at Bill. "memory.. I'm sure he'll try and hit on him. Andreas has always had a thing for Bill." Tom continued, winking at Bill. Bill just stared at Tom a moment, and then decided on studying his nails. He noticed they were black, with a white stripe across the end. He studied them curiously.

"Hey, Tom. Who did my nails?" Bill looked up at his twin, who snorted.

"You did."

"Oh." Bill looked back down at his hands. He was a little surprised, he had thought they looked professionally done. He fingered the intricate ring on his middle finger. Tom noticed, and smiled.

"I got you that one." Bill looked up at Tom, who gestured towards Bill's hand.

"Really?" Bill looked back down at it. It was a pretty ring, with a dragon carved into it, wrapping delicately around his finger.

"Yup. For our eighteenth birthday. You were so excited you nearly.." Tom trailed off, blushing. Bill raised an eyebrow, curious.

"I nearly what?"

"Er. Nevermind." Tom blushed and looked away. He didn't think he should tell Bill, or their parents, that he had been so happy he had nearly kissed Tom right there, in front of everyone. He laughed silently. _That_ definitely would have made the front page. Bill sighed, deciding Tom wasn't going to tell him. Not yet, atleast. He figured he'd try again eventually, when they were alone.

"Breakfast is ready!" Simone said happily, placing plates before the twins.

**

Sure enough, after breakfast Tom dragged Bill outside to show him around. As they walked down the quiet street, Tom pointed out each house, informing Bill of it's occupants, and supplying him with a funny story every time. Bill frowned slightly, looking up at the large house they had stopped in front of him. It seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn't be sure.

"And this, is Andreas' house. We used to sneak out late at night all the time and come over here. Got us into trouble with mom I don't even know how many times." Tom laughed and opened the gate, letting Bill walk in before him. Bill hesitated a moment, before following Tom up the porch steps to the front door. Tom started to turn the handle, but Bill grabbed his shirt.

"Shouldn't we.. you know, knock?" Bill asked. Tom chuckled and pushed the door open.

"Nah, Andreas' mom pretty much told us it's our house too. They don't mind." With that, he stepped over the threshold into the small entry way. "Yo, Andreas!" He called, already starting up the staircase. Bill followed silently behind him.

"Tom?" They heard a call from somewhere down the hall, and someone poked his head out of a doorway. "Oh, hey! Come on in here!" The head disappeared, and Tom walked over to where it had been. Bill sighed, and walked in after Tom.

"Hey, Andreas. How goes it?" Tom grinned and plopped down onto the bed beside his friend. Andreas shrugged and looked up at Bill, who was still standing akwardly in the doorway.

"Hey, Bill! Don't just stand there like and idiot, have a seat!" Andreas said and gestured towards the space next to him on the bed. Bill nodded and made his way over, carefully sitting down beside him. Andreas turned to Tom, who had sat on his other side. "Dude, what's up with your girlfriend?" Andreas jerked his thumb at Bill and laughed. Bill frowned.

"Dude, chill out. Bill can't remember shit, so give him a break." Tom said, pushing Andreas lightly.

"What do you mean, he can't remember shit?" Andreas cocked his head. Tom sighed.

"You know about the crash, right? I told you about that." Andreas nodded, and Tom continued. "Amnesia. Bill can't remember anything before he woke up in the hospital." Bill shifted nervously on the bed. Andreas seemed to have choked, but Bill wasn't sure on what, as he hadn't been eating anything.

"Shit, dude. No kidding?" Andreas turned back to Bill, looking at him sympathetically. "Sorry, man. I had no idea." Bill just nodded blankly, uncomfortable.

"Some things seem familiar.. but, I really can't remember anything." Bill said quietly, looking at Tom. Tom seemed to understand his discomfort.

"So, Andreas. I'm showin' Bill around town. Want to come with?" At that, Andreas' face lit up.

"Hell yeah, I do!" Andreas jumped up and ran over to the closet, digging through it to find his shoes. He retreated, several moments later, with a pair of ratty sneakers. "Um, just a second. Come on, though." Andreas ran from the room, skipping off down the hall. He stopped before another door and opened it, letting his mother know where he was going. Bill and Tom followed him down the stairs and out into the front yard.

"Now what?" Bill asked. He wanted to see more of the town. Tom shrugged and looked at Andreas.

"Dude, let's go down to the old diner. There are bound to be girls there." Andreas said. Bill winced slightly, not really having any interest in meeting girls. Tom noticed, and put a hand on his arm.

"Atleast go for the food. They've got the most amazing apple pie. Not better than mom's, but still. It's pretty damn good." Bill shrugged and nodded. He wasn't exactly hungry yet, it had only been an hour since they ate, but he figured he might as well try it. Bill looked up at the cloudless blue sky for a moment, then ran after Tom and Andreas.


	4. Almost Like the Music Stopped

Bill looked up at the building before them, and sighed before following his friends inside. Although rundown looking on the outside, the inside was fairly nice. Bill was relieved to look down and see the floor was clean. He may not remember his best friend, but he knew he didn't like dirt. That much he was sure of. Bill made a face as they passed a large, scruffy man sitting in a booth, stuffing his face. Tom laughed and pulled Bill along towards a small booth in the back of the room, where several girls were sitting. Bill groaned as Tom slid in next to one of them, issuing giggles from the whole group. Bill stood there awkwardly as Andreas squeezed in next to a pretty faced redhead. They all looked up at Bill, and Tom patted the seat next to him. Bill rolled his eyes and sat down.

"Oh my god, you're Bill Kaulitz!" One of the girls was gaping at Bill, making him fidget.

"Um, yeah." Why was this girl so surprised? Then he remembered the screaming fans, and Tom telling him they were famous. 'Oh,' he thought. 'Great.' Bill sighed, staring at the table before him. He frowned at a piece of something on the otherwise clean surface, and brushed it away. One of the girls sitting across from him giggled, and he looked up to find her staring at him relentlessly. "Er."

"So." Tom cut in. "How are you ladies doin' today?" He grinned, winking. The girls giggled again, a sound Bill was finding more annoying by the minute. He glanced around the small diner, looking for something vaguely more interesting than the girls sitting before him. He decided on watching the large clock on the wall tick as the minutes passed. Bill groaned, staring at the clock. Time seemed to be taking it's, well, time. He swore, in the last 30 seconds, at least ten minutes had gone by. Bill noticed there was music playing through several speakers in the ceiling, and decided to focus on that. He smiled as one song ended and another started, playing a soft melody Bill found oddly pleasant. He hummed along subconsciously as the lyrics started, and turned to Tom.

"Hey, Tomi. Who is this? It's nice." Bill asked, obviously referring to the music playing. Tom gaped him for a moment, and one of the stupid girls giggled again. Bill glared at her, making her giggle more.

"Er, Bill." Bill turned back to Tom. "This is.. us." Bill gaped at him.

"Seriously?" Bill couldn't believe the soft voice playing through the restaurant was his own. Tom smiled, entertained by Bill's reaction.

"Swear. Even ask Andreas over here. Or.. not." Tom added as he noticed Andreas was a bit busy snogging the redhead. Bill snorted, and one of the girls giggled again.

"You're cute." Bill looked at the girl who had talked to him. She was pretty, that much was obvious, but Bill wasn't even close to attracted to her. He guessed she must be to annoying to be his type. Bill mumbled a thanks and went back to staring at the table. He listened in silence as his voice filled the room, for the most part unnoticed by the restaurant's occupants. Bill sighed, crossing his legs under the table. Tom looked at him a moment, then kicked Andreas. Andreas made an odd sound and pulled away from the redhead, glaring at Tom.

"What."

"I'm not really hungry anymore." Andreas looked at him oddly, then glanced at Bill.

"Oh. Yeah. Er." Andreas looked back at the girl who was practically sitting in his lap, and sighed. "Yeah, let's go. We've still got stuff to do." The girls started to protest, but Bill was already out of his seat and halfway across the room. Tom and Andreas laughed, following him outside. Bill passed a young waiter on his way out, who winked at him, making him blush. Bill cursed himself as he stepped outside into the brisk air. Why on earth did he blush?

**

Oh, god. That was fucking hilarious.." Andreas said, and then tried to mimic the look of shock on Bill's face. "Seriously!" He laughed, nearly tripping as they walked down the street. Bill frowned.

"It's not my fault." Bill said, glaring at the sidewalk. Tom laughed.

"I know, Bill.. Don't worry." Tom said, then added, "Although, you have to admit. That _was_ pretty funny.. The famous Bill Kaulitz asking what song that was. I mean, In Die Nacht is practically _our_ song." Tom chuckled softly, kicking a rock in front of him. Bill frowned. What did he mean, _their_ song?

"Anyways, I'll see you guys later." Andreas said. They had reached his front gate, and he hopped over it.

"See you." Tom called as Andreas ran across the yard and through his front door. The two of them walked in silence for a while.

"Tomi?" Bill finally asked.

"Yup." Bill sighed, looking around. It had been several days since he woke up, and there was still no sign of his memories. Not even a hint. He looked at Tom walking next to him, watched him as he kicked another rock.

"Do you think I'll ever remember?" Tom stopped walking and stared at Bill. Bill stopped, turning back to face his brother.

"Of course you will, Bill." He smiled. Bill still wasn't convinced, and it must have shown on his face. "But, you know. Even if you didn't, I don't mind. It's almost like.." Tom trailed off and stared up at the sky, seemingly lost in his memories. Bill looked down at the ground, and shivered as a few drops of rain dropped from the now dark skies.

"Almost like..?" Bill let the sentence fade, hoping Tom would finish for him. Tom looked back down at him, and smiled.

"Almost like, if we don't head back now it won't take long until we're soaked." He started walking again, pulling Bill along with him. Bill sighed, wishing his brother would tell him what was on his mind.

**

Bill laughed as they stepped into the warm house, now fully soaked and dripping on the hardwood floor. Tom pushed Bill lightly, but caught him as he nearly fell. Bill yawned, the exhaustion finally hitting him. They had had a long day, having visited several stores and the school before finally heading home. Tom dragged Bill upstairs to put on some dry clothes. Bill gratefully let Tom undress him, and he sighed as Tom pulled him close, now fully clothed and dry. Bill wrapped his arms around his brother's back, breathing in Tom's scent.

"Come on, let's go put in a movie or something. And we might want to eat something, I think we missed dinner." Tom winced, but laughed. Bill winced as well, imagining the look on Simone's face when they didn't turn up for dinner. He laughed and followed Tom back downstairs. He dropped down onto the couch curling his legs up beneath him. Tom knelt down before the television, rummaging through the stack of DVD's. He pulled a couple out, holding them up for Bill to see.

"Horror or romance?" Tom asked, grinning. Bill made a face, but shrugged. He didn't really want to watch a horror film, but was too tired to protest when Tom put that into the player. Tom sat down beside Bill, and noticed the look on his face. He pulled closer to him. "Don't worry. If you get scared, I'm here." Tom winked down at Bill, who was half leaning on him. Bill blushed again, mentally kicking himself for it. Why the hell did his twin brother make him blush so much?

Bill focused on the TV screen as the movie began playing. It was some stupid thing about an axe murderer. 'Oh how original,' Bill thought, rolling his eyes. Bill figured it was so cheesy, it wouldn't bother him. But ten minutes later found him clutching onto his brother for dear life, his eyes about as wide as humanly possible. Tom chuckled and gently rubbed Bill's arm. The woman on the screen screamed, and Bill buried his face in Tom's chest. Tom wrapped his arms around his twin, holding him close.

"Billa, do you want me to turn the movie off?" Bill looked up at him with wide eyes and shook his head.

"No! Then I won't know if they catch him or not!" Tom smiled and kissed the top of Bill's head. Bill tentatively glanced back at the screen, never letting go of Tom for even a second.

When the movie was finally over, Tom was nearly asleep. He looked down at Bill, who seemed to have dozed off in his lap, his fingers still in a death grip on his t-shirt. He smiled and pried Bill off of him, picking him up gently. Clutching Bill to him with one arm, Tom bent down and switched the TV off. He then made his way up the stairs, and into Bill's room. Tom carefully placed his twin down on the bed, pulling the blankets over his still clothed form. He turned to leave, but something pulled on his shirt. He looked back to see it was Bill, his eyes half open.

"Don't leave me.." Bill whispered, eyes already drooping closed again. Tom smiled and climbed into the bed next to Bill. He wrapped his arms around him tightly, pulling him so he was practically laying on top of him. Bill buried his head in Tom's chest once more, smiling slightly. Tom yawned and shifted slightly, waiting for sleep to come.


	5. SciFi and Mixed Feelings

Bill groaned, stretching. Several days had passed since he had come home, and still he remembered nothing. Everyone around him was being very accommodating and understanding, but Bill wished he would remember. He was getting sick of looking at people he didn't recognize only to find out he'd known them his whole life. Bill was almost happy when Georg and Gustav showed up on their doorstep that morning, much to Tom's dismay.

"Dude, Jost says to get your asses to the city, we've got a concert in two weeks." Georg said, shrugging. The four of them were in the living room, eating some cookies Simone had made that morning.

"Bullshit. Bill can't perform. Hell, he doesn't know the songs!" Tom said. Bill flinched, looking down at the cookie in his hand.

"That's what I told Jost. He says to at least come, even if we have to cancel. He says to at least try." Gustav stated quietly. Tom was fuming, and was having trouble being quiet. Bill, on the other hand, had barely said a word since their friends had showed up.

"Um." Bill started, still contemplating what he was about to say. "I could.. I could learn the songs. It wouldn't be good to cancel a concert.. A lot of people would be said." He said quietly. Tom stared at him.

"But, Bill! Can you handle being on stage in front of all those people?" He asked, his voice dripping with concern. Bill nodded.

"Hell, I've done it before, haven't I?" Bill laughed, looking down again.

"Well, anyways. We have to go. Like, now. Jost'll kill us if we're not there in a couple hours." Georg said, shaking his head. "So grab your shit, and let's get the hell out of here. Not even kidding, I don't want a pissed of Jost on my ass." Tom grimaced, knowing all too well how David was when he was angry. He glanced at Bill one more time and sighed, nodding.

"I guess we don't have much choice." They all stood, heading upstairs to gather the twin's things. It was about 15 minutes before they were saying goodbye to Simone and Gordon, and then heading out the door. Bill sighed as they climbed into the van, and sat in silence next to Tom in the back seat. Georg and Gustav were in an argument over instruments, or something else stupid, and Bill rolled his eyes. Tom leaned over, placing a hand on Bill's thigh. Bill tensed up, heat rising in his stomach.

"You alright?" He asked. Bill nodded stiffly, trying to ignore his growing arousal. He mentally slapped himself for whatever it was affecting him. Tom nodded, pulling away, and Bill instantly wanted the contact back. Without thinking, he grabbed Tom's hand, pulling it back to him. Tom looked over at him, surprised.

"I... please, just.. I want..." Bill wasn't sure what he was saying, wasn't sure why he had placed Tom's hand on his inner thigh, so very close to his now obvious hard-on. Tom nodded, seeming to understand, and smiled. Bill sighed and looked out the window.

**

"You think you can pull it off?" David Jost asked, glaring down at Bill. Bill stared up at him, slightly scared, and nodded. He saw why Tom and the other's didn't want to deal with him mad, if he was this intimidating in a relatively happy mood. Jost nodded and walked off, stopping a second. "You better start working on that, then. Now." With that, he was gone, and Bill sighed. Tom laughed, hugging him gently.

"You'll get used to Jost." He reassured Bill. "If it wasn't for him, we probably wouldn't get anything done.." Bill nodded blankly, looking around him. They were in the studio apartment, where they would be staying. He almost had trouble believing this small apartment held not only a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom, but also a full recording studio. He sighed, following his brother up the stairs to their room. He groaned when the door was opened, and he realized all four of them would be sharing a room.

"Fuck." Bill groaned. Tom smiled, taking his bag from him and dropping it on one of the beds.

"You'll get used to this, too. Hell, it beats staying in the bus. At least here we've got beds." He laughed, and Bill sighed, sitting down on the bed opposite where his bag had been placed. Tom sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Bill closed his eyes, leaning on Tom.

"Georg and Gustav are gone. What do you want to do?" Bill asked. Tom groaned, knowing all too well what he wanted to do. But, they couldn't do that because Bill didn't remember. Bill didn't remember their relationship, for all that it was, and probably wouldn't be too eager to jump right back into it. Bill sensed Tom's nervousness, and pulled away.

"We could.. watch a movie or something." Tom said sadly. Bill nodded, wishing, not for the first time, he knew what was going through his twins head. He missed the connection he knew they once had. It was still there, it just wasn't what he knew it used to be. He sighed, and the two of them headed downstairs to the very small living room. Tom put a disc in, a sci-fi/action this time, and they sat together on the couch. Bill suddenly found himself leaning on his brother once more, and smiled. He was surprised to feel Tom's hand on his waist, holding him gently. He blushed a dark pink at the contact, but decided to ignore it. As the DVD menu came up, Tom swore and grabbed the remote, removing his hand from Bill's side. Bill frowned slightly, once more wishing his twin would touch him. Wishing Tom would touch him much more intimately than he knew a brother should. Bill realized what he was thinking, and blushed madly, his eyes going very wide.

"Um." He stated, scooting away from Tom. Tom looked at him oddly, then sighed and played the movie. Bill felt bad, he knew he was causing Tom pain, but he wasn't really sure of himself. He had no idea why he felt this way about his brother, and hoped it was only because he didn't remember Tom as his twin. He only felt that way about Tom because Tom was attractive with pretty eyes, soft lips, a toned body, big hands, and— 'Fuck' Bill thought, realizing where his mind was going. He groaned inwardly, glancing over at Tom, who was looking at him. Bill was almost surprised to feel himself moving towards his brother, leaning in so their noses bumped. He stayed there a moment, savoring the feel of Tom's breath on his lips. Bill glanced down at Tom's lips, wondering what they tasted like, but feeling as if he already knew. He very tentatively leaned closer, waiting for any sign from Tom that he should stop, and carefully pressed his lips to his twins. Bill sighed, loving the feel of Tom's lips on his, and he surprised himself by sliding his tongue out, across the other boy's lips. Tom slowly opened his mouth, allowing Bill entrance. Bill moved his hand to Tom's arm as their tongues danced together, sliding and tangling with one another.

Bill felt both shocked and relieved to find that, not only did this seem very familiar to him, Tom seemed just as happy to kiss him, as Bill was. Bill scooted even closer, now almost sitting in his brother's lap. Tom groaned and slid his hand up to rest on the back of Bill's neck, making Bill's heart race. Bill turned his head slightly, wanting to make the kiss deeper, more intimate. He smiled into the kiss as he felt Tom's free hand sliding up and down his side, caressing him gently. Bill very carefully moved himself so he was sitting on Tom's lap, straddling him. He moaned as Tom licked behind his teeth, and his body began moving up and down, almost to it's own rhythm. Bill felt his growing erection bump something very hard, and gasped as he realized it was Tom. He pulled back quickly, gaping down at the lump in Tom's pants. He jumped back, up off Tom, blushing furiously.

Bill turned and ran out of the room, almost falling as he tripped up the stairs. He slammed the bedroom door shut behind him and flung himself on the same bed he'd sat on earlier. He gasped for air, staring at the wall, trying to figure out exactly what had gone on downstairs. He groaned and buried his face in the pillows, feeling a single tear make it's way from his eye, down his cheek. What the hell was going on, and why couldn't he figure out what he wanted? He cried silently, slowly falling asleep. Bill didn't notice when Tom came in several hours later, along with Georg and Gustav. He didn't notice that he was actually in Tom's bed, so Tom had to take his. He didn't notice, because he was already deep asleep.


	6. Is it Wrong, Or is it Right?

Bill yawned, stretching away the still present sleep. He opened his eyes, looking around the room at the empty, messy beds. He blinked a few times, trying to remember where he was. It took him several moments to realize he was in the recording studio apartment, and he sat up quickly, gaping at the closed door. Memories of the night before were rushing back, both exciting and scaring him. He wanted to run down the stairs to see Tom, but he also thought he shouldn't. He knew it might be risky for him to run into the other boy that soon, he was afraid of how it might make him feel.

Having feelings for your brother is wrong, right? No, it's right. Or is it wrong? Bill couldn't decide, let alone get his own thoughts straight. He groaned, clutching his head in his hands, and fell back onto the mattress. He was confusing himself more than his feelings were.

Something crashed downstairs, and Bill bolted up off the bed, out into the hall, and down the narrow staircase. He burst into the kitchen, and immediately started laughing. Gustav was flat on his back, surrounded in pots and pans. Bill glanced up at the open, and now empty, cabinet. Gustav was staring at the ceiling, mouth slightly ajar, seeming to be in shock. Georg finally pulled him to his feet, chuckling. Gustav flushed a deep pink and laughed nervously.

"I, uh... I tried climbing onto the counter to get the pan I couldn't reach. And, well..." He smiled sheepishly up at Bill, who laughed even harder. Bill glanced around the room, only just noticing Tom's absence.

"Uh, where's Tom?" He asked, not sure if he really cared, but knowing he did. Georg shrugged, and started picking pans up off the floor.

"He went to the store, we're out of milk." Gustav said, beginning to help Georg.

"Oh." Bill looked around the room a moment, before kneeling down to pick up a very large pot. "What the hell do you use this thing for?" Bill asked, eyeing it. Georg shrugged.

"Don't know, we haven't needed it yet." He laughed, and Gustav nodded. Once the kitchen was restored to its former order, and Gustav had the pan he'd been searching for on the stove, the boys sat down at the kitchen table.

"So, I'm making eggs. What do you want to go with them?" Gustav asked, standing up and going over to the fridge. He opened the door and looked through the shelves a moment. "Fuck."

"What now?" Georg sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically, making Bill giggle. Gustav pulled his head out of the fridge and glared at him.

"We're out of eggs." Gustav said flatly, and Georg groaned.

"Dumbass, why didn't you notice that _before_ we sent Tom to the store?" Georg whined, and Gustav flushed. At that moment, the door opened and Tom strolled in with a carton of milk. "Great, now we can't call and make him grab it." Georg groaned again, and Tom looked confused.

"We're out of eggs." Bill informed him, and Tom laughed.

"Great. Does that mean I get to go back out?" He asked, looking at Gustav. Gustav frowned, opening his mouth, but Bill cut him off.

"I'll get them." Bill said, standing up. He headed for the door, but Tom grabbed his shirt.

"I'll go with you. Don't want you getting lost." He nodded to Georg and Gustav, and they left together. Once out on the street, they walked in silence. Bill wanted to say something, wanted to ask Tom so many things, but he was afraid. Tom finally broke the silence.

"Sorry about last night." He was looking straight ahead, almost refusing to look at Bill. Bill sighed, bumping into him.

"I don't blame you. I'm just.." Bill thought a moment. "Confused, I guess." He continued. Tom glanced at him and smiled weakly.

"I wish I could fix that.. It's hard, you not remembering and all. But, I think me telling you would just make it worse." Tom seemed to be talking more to himself than Bill. Bill listened, hoping if he kept quiet, Tom would keep going. He got lucky. "I mean, I want you to remember us. How we were. But, I think that would be hard on you, since it was hard enough when you remembered. Things were hard, the secrecy, the guilt. But we had each other. Life was good, hectic and stressful, but good." He looked at Bill, and gasped, as if just realizing he had been speaking out loud. "I mean, just.. Forget about everything I said." He looked away, blushing furiously. Bill frowned, even more confused. Secrecy? Guilt? What did they have to be secretive about?

"No, tell me. I want to know." Bill grabbed Tom's hand, stopping him. "I want to know everything. The good and the bad." He smiled reassuringly, wishing for the millionth time he had his memory back, wishing he could hug his brother and tell him everything was alright. Tom sighed, looking back at him.

"Later, alright?" Bill nodded, and smiled.

**

"Fuck you! God!" Bill yelled, throwing a pillow at Tom. Tom laughed, throwing it back.

"You wou- Er... Get over it!" Tom stumbled over his words, flinching at his slip. Bill didn't seem to notice though, as he was furiously pressing buttons on the game controller. Tom sighed in relief, and went back to kicking Bill's ass at the racing game. Bill had always been a horrible driver, both with a game controller, and behind the wheel of a car.

Several days had passed since he promised to tell Bill what was going on, but he still hadn't said anything. Truth was, he was afraid. The bond they'd had before had taken years to build, and even longer to understand. It wasn't something most people would understand, and Tom didn't want to be rejected. He loved Bill, he truly did, but without the trust and the understanding between them, Tom didn't think Bill would be so accepting of the whole thing. The feelings were very obviously still there, but they were only confusing Bill. Tom blamed himself for that, and had carefully avoided confusing Bill any more. Little did he know, Bill was confusing himself.

"Oh, fuck it!" Bill said, furiously hitting the power button on the game console. He dropped the controller at his feet, glaring up at Tom, who grinned.

"You're just jealous of my mad skills." Tom teased, and Bill snorted.

"Something tells me I should know for a fact, that your 'mad skills' really aren't that mad." Bill teased back, and Tom gaped at him.

"Uh."

"God damn it, Tomi. What is it with us? It's so messed up, but.. Gah!" Bill said, falling back on the floor. Tom looked down at him, shocked, from his place on the couch.

"Er, what about us?" Tom asked, hoping to God Bill wasn't thinking what he was thinking. Bill sat up and glared at him.

"You know what I'm talking about. I want you, and it's driving me fucking crazy. I swear to god, I've been having wet dreams every night since the movie. And every time, I come dreaming of you. How fucking messed up is that? You're my brother! I know it's wrong, but.." Bill brought his knees up to his chest, and buried his head in his arms. His body shook with the sobs, and his makeup smeared down his cheeks, leaving black tear trails down his face. Tom stared, open mouthed, down at him, not sure what to do.

"I, uh." He stammered, blankly. Bill's head jerked up, and he stared up at Tom.

"What the fuck is wrong with me, Tomi?" He asked, his voice still quivering with the tears. Tom sighed and slid onto the floor beside him, pulling Bill into his arms. Bill sobbed and wrapped his arms around him tightly, smearing his dark makeup into Tom's white t-shirt.

"Shh." Tom whispered soothingly into Bill's ear, petting his head gently. "Just forget about it, alright?" He began rocking back and forth, soothing Bill like you would a crying child. Because really, that's what Bill was. He was so small and fragile, Tom was always afraid he might break him. But he never did, because, despite all else, Bill was strong. And yet here he was, crying like a scorned child, clutching his brother for dear life. Tom kissed the top of Bill's head softly, squeezing him tighter.

"I can't forget, Tomi. I can't.." He cried softly. Tom wrapped an arm around his lower back, pulling both of them to their feet. He gently lifted Bill up, one arm under his knees, the other supporting the rest of his body, and carried the small, crying boy upstairs. He carefully placed Bill in a bed, not really noticing which, and carefully pulled the blankets up over him. He smiled down at Bill, so much like the small boy he had once been, and yet so different. "Tomi.." Bill said softly. Tom sat down beside him, wiping the black tears from his face. Bill reached up and pulled Tom's head down, kissing him softly. Slowly, his hand fell down onto the bed beside him, and he was asleep. Tom sighed, standing up and walking to the door. He glanced back at his twin, now sleeping soundly, and turned the light off before stepping out into the hall.


	7. Life of a Rockstar

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Tom stared at David Jost, their manager, mouth slightly open. David sighed, glaring down at Tom.

"Do you think he can do it?"

"What?"

"Bill. Do you think he can pull it off?" Jost rolled his eyes.

"Oh." Tom blushed slightly. "Well, he seems confident enough." Jost nodded, looking down at a paper in front of him.

"Make sure he knows the lyrics, Tom." Tom jumped up from his chair, knowing that was his dismissal, and practically ran from the small manager's office.

**

"What?" Georg gaped at Tom, who had just informed him that their next concert was just over a week away.

"Shit." Gustav muttered. "Have you guys really been here that long?" Tom shrugged.

"I know, I swear we only showed up at your guys' house like, two days ago." Georg said, shaking his head.

"Does Bill know?" Gustav asked apprehensively.

"I'm not exactly sure. He knows it's soon, but we never really specified a date. I had better go talk to him." He turned, jogging up the stairs, hoping Bill had worked on relearning the lyrics to their songs. If Bill didn't know the words, they couldn't perform. Tom threw open the bedroom door, not bothering to knock, and Bill yelled. Tom gaped at his little brother sprawled out on a bed, naked, hand wrapped firmly around his cock.

"Fuck, Tom!" Bill gasped out, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Shit, sorry." Tom blushed, starting to turn and walk back out of the room.

"No, wait."

Tom turned back to Bill, who was still holding himself, and closed the door slowly behind him. He sighed and sat down on the bed beside Bill, trying to look only at his face.

"Tomi, please..." Bill almost begged, and Tom felt heat pooling in his groin. He looked at Bill a moment, searching for any sign of reluctance, before taking a grasp on his brother's length. Bill moaned, his back arching off the bed, and Tom's cock twitched in his jeans. Tom began slowly jerking Bill off, watching the look of pure pleasure on his twin's face. Bill reached down and placed his hand over Tom's, making Tom squeeze harder. Tom got the message, and started moving his hand faster, keeping pressure applied.

"Tomi..." Bill whined out as Tom swirled a finger around the head of Bill's cock, gently dragging his short nails. Tom nearly moaned as Bill tensed up, before coming all over his stomach and Tom's hand and sputtering Tom's name repeatedly. Tom released his brother, and wiped his hand off on the blankets of what he now noticed was his bed.

"Bill." Tom said softly.

"Hm." Bill mumbled, opening his eyes.

"Have you been working on the lyrics?"

"Yeah, why?" Bill sat up, pulling the blanket to him, and covering his naked body.

"Concert's in a week and a half."

"Fuck." Bill blanched, the pink tint fading from his cheeks. "I'm gonna need help."

**

Bill took a deep breath, looking around at his friends. He could just make out their forms in the semi-darkness of the backstage, the only light filtering in from the bright lights coming from the stage. Bill was thankful he wasn't the only one who seemed nervous, as Georg kept fidgeting, and Gustav wouldn't leave his drumsticks alone. Tom, however, just stood there acting as if he was only preparing to do something routine, something tedious, even.

Despite his calm appearance, Bill noticed Tom was fighting the nerves his own way. He would occasionally adjust his hat or his jeans, and was constantly glancing over at Bill. Bill didn't think his other band mates had noticed, being too wrapped up in their own rituals.

As their cue to enter the stage came, Bill closed his eyes. Tom touched his arm reassuringly, before stepping out into the light, greeted by roaring applause and cheers. Georg and Gustav entered after Tom, another wave of screams erupting. Bill opened his eyes and took another deep breath, before running out onto the stage behind them. His eyes burned as the horrifically bright lights assaulted his eyes, and his ears were met with the screams and cheering of thousands of girls. He smiled out into the audience, pumping his fist up into the air.

Bill quickly and enthusiastically introduced the first song, thanking the fans for coming to see them. He glanced back at Tom as the music started up, and Tom gave him a reassuring smile. As his time to begin singing came, Bill opened his mouth, giving it all he was worth.

**

"That was fucking amazing!" Bill squealed, bouncing around the room. Tom laughed, rolling his eyes. The singer hadn't been able to sit still since the concert had ended almost fifteen minutes ago. Bill seemed to be running on a high, and it was exhausting the other already worn out band members. Georg was slumped on the small couch, his legs draping over Gustav who was sitting beside him, head falling back against the cushions, snoring softly.

"I mean, really! Do we really do this all the time? Like, I can't believe this is for real." Bill grinned wide at Tom, who snorted. Bill was starting to sound like an excited girl.

"Chillax." He said, laughing, and Bill cocked his head at him. "Let's go get some food or something. I'm fucking starved."

"Yeah, food does kinda sound good." Bill said, his energy boost seeming to finally start to wear off.

"You guys in?" Tom asked, turning to the G's on the couch. Georg shook his head no, and no one bothered to wake up Gustav.

"Fine. Bill, come on." Tom started walking for the back door, where Saki was standing. The boys nodded to the tall body guard, who nodded back, before stepping out into the cool night air. Bill sighed, closing his eyes and grinning wide.

"Damn, I didn't realize just how hot it was in there." He suddenly felt very tired, and wondered where his energy from just a few minutes ago had gone. Tom laughed, and Bill opened his eyes, looking over at him.

"Yeah." Tom signaled the driver, who went and got the van. As it pulled up, Tom opened the door, letting Bill climb in first. Once both seated inside, Bill leaned heavily against his brother.

"Where we goin'?" He mumbled.

"Don't know." Tom shrugged, and looked up at the driver. "Hey, driver, take us to your favorite restaurant." Bill smiled into Tom's chest.

**

"Wow."

"It's not that amazing."

"Yes it is, it's fucking huge!"

"I've seen bigger."

"You have not." Bill glared at his brother, who laughed.

"Seriously, I have." Tom grinned. They were inside the tour bus, and Bill was running around, looking at everything.

"How the hell do they fit all this in here?" He asked, looking at Tom wide-eyed. Tom shrugged.

"They're fucking engineering geniuses, I guess." Bill glared at him, before running to the other end of the bus, exclaiming at the media room. Tom shook his head, smiling, and stepped back down off the bus. Georg and Gustav were still out there, making sure all of their bags were accounted for.

"You guys almost done out here?" Tom asked, strolling over to them. They looked up at him, Gustav looking stressed, and Georg looking utterly bewildered.

"Define done." Gustav gritted out, glaring at Georg.

"I swear, I don't think we had this many bags earlier." He shook his head, gently kicking a suitcase on the ground before him. Gustav looked up at Tom and sighed.

"Yeah, we'll be in soon." Tom nodded turning and hopping up the stairs back into the large bus.

"Tomi?" Bill's voice called, and Tom went in search of his brother.

"Yeah?" He asked, as he found his brother sitting in one of the bunks.

"We're sleeping here from now on?"

"Yeah, but that's my bunk." Tom chuckled, and Bill frowned.

"But, this one feels so much better. And I don't mean more comfortable." Bill had an odd look on his face as he looked up at his brother, who smiled softly. Bill had actually spent more nights in Tom's bunk than in his own, so he wasn't surprised.

"You can have it if you want. I'll take yours, no biggie." He sat down next to Bill, watching as his twin lay back in the small bunk.

"How long are we gonna be on tour, Tomi?" Bill asked quietly, turning on his side. Tom leaned back against the wall opposite Bill, sighing.

"A few weeks."

"And we're gonna be on the bus the whole time?"

"We get hotel room sometimes. Like, when we're in one city for a few nights." Bill scrunched up his nose.

"The unpacking and repacking has got to get annoying." He said with obvious distaste.

"You get used to it." Tom shrugged.

"Will I really?"

"You better, or this tour is gonna be hell for the rest of us." Tom laughed, and Bill threw the pillow at him, only to have it thrown back.


	8. The History of Me

"Thank God," Bill groaned, stumbling out of the bus and into the gas station parking lot clutching his stomach.

"I can't believe you got carsick. You _never_ get carsick." Tom said, climbing out after him. Bill turned and glared at him, just barely holding down his lunch. He couldn't remember ever being this miserable, which wasn't saying much, only having a week's worth of memories.

"Does the bus always sway so much?" Bill asked, leaning against the large bus. Tom shrugged.

"You get used to it."

Bill groaned, sliding down and sitting on the asphalt. He was losing track of how many things he was supposed to get used to.

"Hey, come on, Bill. It'll get better, I promise." Tom soothed, kneeling down beside his twin. Bill shook his head, looking forlornly up at Tom.

"I don't think it's getting better, Tomi." Bill said quietly. He was almost surprised at how fast he had fallen into calling his brother by such a loving nickname, but Tom didn't seem to mind, or notice, so he decided to stick with it.

"Billa." Tom pulled Bill into an embrace, willing away his little brother's nausea. Bill trembled slightly in Tom's hold as a soft wind picked up, making the warm air cool down a bit. "Come on, let's get back on the bus." Bill shook his head, dreading having to get back on the road.

"No, can we go in the gas station? I want candy." Tom nodded, pulling Bill to his feet, arms still wrapped firmly around him. Tom led his brother into the small station, already heading to the candy isle. The store was pretty much empty besides the cashier, and the boys managed to avoid bringing much attention to themselves.

"Gummy worms?" Tom asked as Bill scanned the isle. Bill nodded, and Tom grabbed a bag, which Bill instantly tore open, shoving several worms into his mouth. Tom chuckled. "We still have to pay for those, you know." He shook his head teasingly, and Bill blushed slightly.

"Is that all?" The cashier asked, sounding very bored, as they stepped up to the counter.

"Uhm." Tom glanced at the magazine rack, grabbing one and dropping it on the counter. "Yeah. Bill, give him the bag so he can ring it up." Bill reluctantly handed the already half empty bag of gummies over to the cashier, who glared at him. Tom sighed, paying for their items and dragging Bill back outside to the bus.

"Tomi," Bill whined, and Tom looked at him.

"Yup?" He replied, glancing around for any sign of their friends. Georg and Gustav had disappeared a while ago, saying something about getting fresh air.

"How much longer 'til we get to wherever the hell we're going?"

"Just a few days. I mean, we just got on the bus this morning!" Tom laughed, and Bill pouted.

"Whatever."

Tom stared as Bill turned and climbed up the steps into the bus, disappearing as the door shut behind him.

"Yo, Tom!"

Tom turned to see Georg and Gustav walking towards them and grinned.

"Sup. Where the hell'd you guys go?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Georg shrugged.

"Took a walk." He said, and Gustav nodded.

"Okay... If you say so." Tom teased, and Georg pushed him.

"Anyways, where's Bill?" Gustav questioned, glancing around the empty parking lot. Tom gestured to the bus.

"I think he's pissed at me, although I'm not entirely sure why."

"What else is new? You never know why." Georg said laughingly.

"Whatever." Tom frowned slightly, then smiled. "I'm goin' in." He opened the door, stepping up into the bus and looking around. He could hear something coming from the bunk area, and decided to investigate. All the bunks were empty except for his, which had the curtains pulled closed. He opened the curtain a bit, peeking in.

"Billa?"

Bill was sitting with the bag of gummy worms and a portable DVD player in his lap. Tom snorted as he saw Harry Potter playing across the small screen.

"What." Bill said, looking up at him.

"Can I come in?" Tom asked, and Bill laughed.

"I suppose."

Tom sat down beside Bill, closing the curtain behind him.

"Which one you watchin'?"

"Sorcerer's Stone. Kinda hard to watch anything but the first one, when you don't remember what happens in any of them." He said, looking back at the screen. Tom watched as a giant snake came out of a glass cage, and many people screamed.

"Wow, you just started it, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a while. Tom was bored out of his mind, but Bill seemed rather engrossed in the movie. Finally, Bill sighed and paused the movie, turning and looking at Tom.

"If you don't want to watch it with me, go somewhere else." He said flatly.

"What makes you think I don't want to watch it?"

"You haven't stopped fidgeting since you sat down."

"Oh." Tom looked down at his lap. Bill sighed again, turning the player off and shoving it to the end of the bunk.

"I was bored with it anyways."

**

"Ew, Tomi, that's sick!" Bill made a face at his brother.

"What? It is not."

"God, seriously?"

"Yeah, try it." Tom held out a few fries dipped in a disgusting looking sauce.

"What the hell did you even dip those in?" Bill asked, carefully taking the fries from Tom.

"Um. Ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, and pickle relish."

"You're disgusting." Bill said, glancing at Tom oddly before tentatively taking a bite of the fries. After a second he made a face, but took another bite.

"Good, huh?" Tom laughed.

"Pish, no." Bill said as he dipped his remaining fry in the bowl of the sauce Tom had made just minutes ago.

"Then why are you still eating it?"

Bill stopped, french fry half way to his mouth, and stared at his brother.

"I don't know."

Tom shook his head as Bill swallowed the fry whole, before picking up a few more.

"You're worthless, you know that?" He teased.

"I'd make a retort, but I think this fry sauce says enough about you." Bill snorted, and Tom laughed.

"What, you're eating it too!"

Bill rolled his eyes.

"I think you put cocaine or something in there."

"What? Why the hell would you say that?"

"Because it tastes like shit, but I can't stop eating it."

"That sounds more like chew to me." Georg piped up. The twins looked over at him, having not realized he was even in the room.

"When the hell'd you come in here?" Tom asked, and Georg glared at him.

"I was already here when you morons sat down."

"Oh." Bill frowned.

Suddenly everything swayed harshly as the bus came to a stop.

"Are we there?" Tom asked curiously.

"Finally!" Bill jumped up, running over to the bus door, and flung it open, peeking his head out. "Hotel!" He called excitedly. Georg and Tom both laughed loudly as Gustav walked into the room.

"We there?" He asked quietly, suppressing a yawn.

"Yes!" They heard Bill call as he jumped down the stairs into the hotel parking lot. Gustav grinned tiredly.

"Good. Hotel means big bed."

Bill's voice trailed in through the still open door, yelling something very loudly.

"Fuck!" Bill said, stomping back onto the bus. The three other boys looked over at him, confused by his sudden change of mood. "The hotel overbooked, we have to share rooms." There was a general groan, and Tom stood up.

"Great… Who am I rooming with?"

Bill stared at him a moment.

"Me."

**

"Fuck! Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Bill cried out hopping up and down on one foot just inside their hotel room. Tom looked over at him as he closed the door to the room.

"What?"

Bill turned and glared at him.

"I dropped my fucking suitcase on my fucking toe."

Tom snorted.

"It's not funny!" Bill whined, flopping down on one of the beds.

"Okay, sorry, sorry." Tom walked over, dropping a bag on the unoccupied bed. A brief silence filled the room as Tom unzipped his duffel bag, checking to make sure all his hats had survived the trip, and Bill sat on his bed cradling his aching foot.

"This hotel is nice." Bill finally said softly.

"What? Oh, yeah." Tom muttered. "We've had better. Much better." Bill looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Like that time in Madrid, we each had our own suite. But you made me trade rooms with you, because you said the bathroom wasn't big enough." Tom snorted.

"Which reminds me. How big is our bathroom here?" He asked, jumping up and running over to the bathroom door. Tom heard him groan. "Tomi! It's fucking _tiny_!"

Tom shook his head, zipping his bag back up and moving it onto the couch. He sighed as Bill fell dramatically backwards onto his bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Tomi." He said, still not looking at Tom. "The shower is the size of a broom closet. I think it's smaller than the shower on the bus." Tom laughed.

"No shower is smaller than that thing."

"True." Bill rolled onto his side, picking at the sheet. "Tomi?"

"Yup." Tom said distractedly, now sifting through another suitcase.

"How were we when we were little?"

Tom looked up surprised at his little brother.

"What do you mean?"

Bill was silent for a moment.

"Like, what did we used to do? Before we started the band, I mean. How were we in school?"

Tom sighed, closing his eyes. School had been a traumatizing experience for both of them, but Tom hadn't dealt with half the shit Bill went through.

"We used to play in the park a lot. Mom was always yelling at us because we never came home on time. After a few years, she stopped yelling, and started expecting us to just show up when we felt like it." Tom smiled, remembering the first time they had shown up late. They had been only seven years old, and Simone had been livid.

"What about Andreas?"

"We started hanging out with Andreas when we were like, four. But, we didn't become close friends until like, fourth grade." Andreas had been one of the 'popular kids' in the early years of school, but had finally started talking to them after he had accidently gone into the girls bathroom and was labeled a freak.

"Did we have a lot of friends?" Bill asked, and Tom flinched.

"No." He sighed. "I had a few, but you just had Andreas and me. Mostly me."

"Why?" Bill sat up, a slightly sad expression on his face.

"Because people are assholes."

"Oh." Bill went silent once more, watching Tom for several minutes. "Tomi?" He finally asked again.

"Yes, Billa?"

"Thanks."

Tom smiled again, looking down at his twin on the other bed.

"Any time, Bill."


	9. Manipulative and Moody in Madrid

"I can't believe the tour's over!" Bill gasped, collapsing on the small couch in the living area of the tour bus. Tom laughed, dropping down next to him. They had just returned to the bus from their last concert of the tour.

"You know we've got an interview in like, two days, right?"

"Fuck, really?" Bill groaned, and Tom smiled.

"Don't worry, David's gonna go over all the questions and stuff you'll need to know beforehand." Bill nodded tiredly, his head falling back on the couch cushions.

"We driving there?"

"Nope. Too far to go in just two days, we're flying." Tom shrugged, and Bill sat bolt upright.

"Flying? As in like, on a plane?" He asked, staring wide-eyed at his brother. Tom snorted.

"Uhm, no we were planning on flapping our arms and seeing how far that got us first." Bill rolled his eyes, and smacked Tom lightly on the arm. "Yes, on a plane. Why?"

"I've never... Well, I don't remember ever flying on a plane. Is it scary?" Bill asked quietly. Tom smiled, looking at him lying out on the couch.

"Eh, it's okay. Turbulence sucks, though."

"Turbulence?" Bill's eyes widened a bit and Tom laughed again.

"Yeah, the plane bounces around a bit. I think it hits air pockets or something, I don't know. I asked once, but that was like, forever ago." He shrugged, emphasizing his cluelessness. Bill laughed nervously, not particularly liking the thought of flying.

"I've flown before, right?"

"Pish, yeah. Only like all the time. You'll be fine, you always have been." Tom paused a moment, thinking. "Except for that time we flew to New York. You were so sick. And it sucked, 'cause that flight was so fucking long." He laughed softly, shaking his head.

Bill didn't like the sound of that. Sick on a long flight? He decided he'd pass on that if he could.

"How long is the flight to wherever we're going?"

"Only like, four hours. Not too long."

Bill snorted. Four hours sounded much too long to him.

"Anyways, it's a late flight; you'll probably just sleep the whole time."

Bill nodded, still not so sure.

"When do we leave?"

"In three hours." Tom smiled. "Better start packing."

**

Bill tapped his foot, smiling at everyone around him. He was in an oddly good mood for being tired, sore, and in an airport. It probably helped that he had his headphones in, drowning out all the noise around him. He silently sang along as Billy Joe's voice rang clear through his head phones, completely ignoring Saki standing beside him giving the band a lecture about airplane safety.

He knew he should probably be listening to the large body guard, as he couldn't remember ever flying before and was rather nervous, but he decided he didn't really care. Tom would tell him if there was anything important.

Bill noticed that in the month since he'd woken up in the hospital, he'd already come to rely on Tom for just about everything. Sure, he'd already figured out how to make people do pretty much anything he wanted with only a sweet smile, but with Tom, things were different. Tom he didn't have to persuade or sweet talk. Hell, with Tom, he usually didn't even have to ask. Tom just seemed to know. Bill figured that was just a twin thing, and had grown accustomed to it.

His band mates were just as loud and boisterous as he was sure they always had been, which had taken some getting used to, but Bill felt fairly comfortable just living and hanging out with them. He had finally learned to cope with Jost, and had even managed to work his magic on their manager, earning him his own hotel room on one of their stops.

Life was hectic and hard to deal with sometimes, but Bill was getting used to it, falling into a pattern.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and Bill jumped, looking around. He had been completely out of it, and was a little surprised to find Tom standing beside him looking concerned. He pulled an earphone out to hear his brother.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"You okay? You looked almost… Nostalgic. It was weird."

"Oh." Bill laughed. "Sorry, I was spacing."

"Ah. Anyways, come on, it's time to head upstairs to the plane." Tom jerked his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing towards the escalator. Bill nodded, following the others up the moving staircase.

"Don't worry about the long line, we get to bypass it." Tom pointed out, as Bill noticed the ridiculously long line for security.

"Good." Bill didn't really have the patience at the moment to wait in a line. His good mood was beginning to ebb away, and he just wanted to sit down and ignore everyone.

They quickly made their way through the V.I.P. security check, and were walking down towards their gate to sit for an hour. Bill sighed as they finally sat down, and had trouble not glaring at all the people who were looking at them. He had no idea where his good mood had gone, but he knew he wouldn't last long around a lot of people the way he was feeling now.

"Here. Eat this before you start acting like a total bitch." Tom said, handing Bill a bag from Burger King. Bill looked up at him, slightly confused. Tom shrugged.

"You always start getting moody when you haven't eaten." He stated simply.

Bill's stomach grumbled as he realized he hadn't eaten since several hours earlier, and it hadn't been very much. He mumbled a thank you before ripping into the burger, moaning gratefully at the added jalapenos. He smiled up at Tom, silently thanking him for knowing him so well.

"You're welcome, dipshit." Tom laughed, sitting down beside Bill. They sat in silence as Bill practically swallowed his sandwich whole, before pulling out the fries.

"You know you're gonna make me fat, one of these days." Bill said around a mouth full of fried potatoes. Tom looked up at him.

"What?"

"All this fast food and shit. It's gonna make me fat."

Tom laughed and poked Bill in the stomach.

"Too late."

Bill squealed, kicking his twin harshly. Tom swore, glaring down at Bill's boot.

"Those damn cowboy boots are gonna be the death of me." He said, grinning up at Bill. Bill shook his head, smiling lightly, finishing up his fries.

"Throw this away." He commanded, shoving his trash in the guitarist's lap.

"What? No." Tom frowned, shoving it back. Bill pouted, turning to look at Georg, who sighed and took the trash. Tom laughed as Georg walked over to a trash can, disposing of Bill's trash for him.

"You are such a manipulative little boy."

Bill stuck his tongue out, crossing his eyes. Tom laughed at the silly face on his little brother's face, before sticking his own tongue out and putting his headphones in. Bill pouted, shoving his previously removed earphone back in his ear, going back to ignoring everyone.

**

"At this time you should be seated with your seat belts fastened. Flight attendants, prepare the cabin for take off."

Bill sighed and leaned back in his chair, only partially listening to the captain speaking over the intercom. He groaned as a flight attendant walked past, informing him that his seat belt was not fastened, and he should proceed to do so. He nodded, clicking the belt shut across his waist, only to get the annoying man to go away.

He'd only been on the plane for about fifteen minutes, and he already hated it. The seats, though large, were oddly shaped and uncomfortable. He decided he didn't have enough legroom or enough room under the seat in front of him for his large Prada bag. The water tasted funny and the flight attendants were rude and annoying.

Bill decided coach must be hell, if first class was this bad.

He looked around the small, relatively empty first class cabin, noting the contented expressions on his friends' faces. He pouted, slouching low in his seat, trying to hide from the stewardess who had been staring at him.

Hadn't she ever seen a rock star before?

Apparently not.

"I am _terribly_ sorry to bother you, you must be exhausted. But, my niece is a huge fan. Would you mind…?"

Bill looked up to see the flight attendant who had been staring at him only moments ago. He sighed inwardly before plastering a huge grin on his face.

"Of course! It's no problem. Do you have something for me to sign?" He asked, sounding as authentically sweet as he could. The woman smiled, before handing him a pad of paper and a pen. "What's your niece's name?"

"Anna."

Bill nodded, quickly writing a short note and signing his name. The flight attendant glanced down at the paper before beaming at Bill, thanking him, and bustling off. Bill sighed audibly now, thankful to finally have some peace. He didn't think flight attendants were supposed to even be bothering them. But, at least she had been polite about it.

Bill glanced out his window quickly before shutting the cover and leaning against it with his pillow. This was going to be a long flight, and he planned to do exactly as Tom had originally said he would.

**

"Bill, wake up. We're here."

Bill jerked awake as someone gently shook his shoulder, and looked up to see Tom smiling down at him. He nodded up at his twin, before gathering up his bag and getting up to leave. He winced as he stood straight up, his head smashing into the compartment above him. He swore loudly, earning a laugh from Tom.

"Careful there. Ceiling's a bit low." He teased, and Bill flipped him off.

"So, where exactly is here?" Bill asked, looking around as they came into the airport terminal from the ramp down to the plane.

"Madrid."

Bill stopped walking, and Tom turned to stare at him.

"Madrid as in, like, Spain?"

"No, Madrid as in like, Russia. Yes, Spain. Where else would Madrid be?" Tom rolled his eyes.

"So, the interview is here?"

"Yes."

"But I don't speak Spanish."

"Neither do I. Now let's go, I think Saki's sick of waiting for us."

Bill hesitantly followed after Tom, thinking silently for several minutes.

"So if none of us speak Spanish, how are they gonna do the interview?"

"Ear pieces. We'll have people translating for us."

"But that's…. Awkward."

Tom shrugged.

"We've done it before."

"Oh."

They were down on the first floor now, walking out into the cool morning air. They waited a few minutes for their van to show up. Once safely in the van and on the freeway, Bill finally came out of yet another silence.

"When's the interview?"

"Heading there now."

"I thought we had like, two days!"

Tom sighed.

"It got bumped up. Weren't you listening to David like, ten minutes ago?"

Bill shook his head, and Tom snorted, going back to staring out the window. Bill sighed and rested his head against the cool glass of the window, preparing himself for what he figured would be a very interesting interview.


	10. Let's Try it Again

Bill stared blankly at the woman interviewing them as he listened to the translation in his ear.

"Oh." He said softly as the translator finished speaking. "Yes, I've been doing quite well since I was discharged from the hospital." He nodded, looking over at Tom. Tom and the others looked quite bored, and Bill didn't blame them. Even though David had made them all come on the interview, a majority of the questions had been aimed towards Bill. Bill sighed, wishing the interview was over. He was sick of being in the studio with the audience staring at him.

And he was even sicker of staring at the rather large mole on the interviewer's neck. He felt more as if the mole were staring at him, than him it.

The woman was speaking again, in very rapid Spanish, probably relaying his answer to the audience. She had a translator speaking into her ear as well, so the interview had been going rather slowly.

Bill was relieved as he recognized the words 'thank you' and 'Tokio Hotel'. Thank god, he thought. The interview was finally over. The band smiled and waved at the audience, before a cameraman signaled they were no longer filming. Bill sighed for what seemed the millionth time in the last month, and stood up. They had been there for over half an hour, and the couch was horribly uncomfortable. He stretched his sore limbs, looking around. David had told them they had to sign autographs before they could leave, and he wanted to get it over with.

He finally spotted Saki, and trudged over to him. His exhaustion was finally starting to sink in, now that he was no longer on the tour. Being on the bus with concerts every few nights had worn him out, but had kept him too busy to be properly tired. Now that he had nothing to do, he wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep forever.

But right now, he was still a famous singer who had to go sign autographs. And he had to do it pleasantly, or he'd hear about it from Jost later. Bill straightened his slumped posture, not wanting to look lazy in front of his fans as they walked over to the group of screaming girls. He began signing random things, his band mates doing the same on either side of him.

Ten minutes felt like forever as Bill worked through the line, sighing gratefully as Saki signaled for them to leave. They bid their fans goodbye, before heading off, once more, to the van waiting outside.

Bill was almost surprised to find David sitting in the van waiting for them as they all piled in.

"I know you're all tired, but you're not done. There's a big party tonight, and lots of big names will be there. You'll have a few hours to rest, and then it's off to work again. This party is not for you boys to get drunk and have a good time, you hear?" David glared at each of them in turn, his eyes lingering the longest on Tom.

"Yes, David." Tom teased, as if he'd heard the same speech a thousand times. And, knowing David, he probably had.

"Good." With that, David turned around in his seat, proceeding to talk to the driver.

Bill frowned at the back of David's seat. Great, he got to go schmooze old stars from earlier decades most likely.

"At least there'll be alcohol, right?" Georg piped up from the back seat.

"No, at least it's not until later." Bill said, turning his gaze to the window.

"Oh god, please tell me he's not in a mood." Gustav said, frustrated, from the back seat. Bill huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was just hoping he'd have a hotel room to sleep in for the rest of the day.

**

"Thank the lord, and all that is good." Bill gushed as he flopped down onto the large hotel room bed. He heard a laugh from the other side of the room, and looked up to see Tom standing in the doorway that connected their rooms. David had been sympathetic, and they had each gotten their own room.

"Tired?"

"Just a bit." Bill laughed, his voice muffled, as his head was pressed into the pillows. The bed shifted as Tom sat down, and Bill rolled onto his back to look at him. "Tomi?"

"Yup?"

"Why do I love you?"

"Duh, because you're my brother." Tom laughed.

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Bill looked up at Tom oddly.

"Yes, 'oh'."

"Why 'oh'?"

Tom shrugged.

"Dunno."

"Yes you do."

"Alright, so I do." Tom laughed and Bill frowned.

"So tell me. You said you would."

"Damn, I thought you forgot about that."

Bill shook his head. Tom sighed, looking away for a moment.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Did I understand before?"

"Yes."

"Then maybe I'll understand now." Bill smiled, and Tom couldn't help but smile too.

"We're… Well, we _were_… More than just brothers." Tom flinched, staring at the wall on the other side of the room. Bill was silent a moment.

"Yeah, I think I picked up on that." He laughed sourly.

"Oh."

"There you are with the 'oh' again. So, how did it happen anyways?"

Tom looked down at him, a soft expression on his face.

"I don't know. It just did. The feelings were always there, but it took us a while to understand them completely." He laughed quietly. "Hell, I don't even completely understand it now."

"It just made sense."

"Yeah. We've always been close, it only made sense that we would be together." Tom shrugged.

"It must have hurt when I woke up and didn't remember you."

Tom nodded, such a small movement Bill wouldn't have noticed, if he hadn't been watching.

"It did."

"It hurt me that I didn't remember you."

Tom looked up, and smiled.

"Anyways, you should sleep. You're tired, we all are." Tom said, standing to leave.

"Tom?"

"Yup."

"I wanna try it."

"Try what?"

"Us."

Tom looked shocked, he just stood there staring.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

Tom knelt down onto the bed and slowly leaned towards Bill, kissing him softly.

"Sleep."

Bill nodded and closed his eyes, smiling as Tom pulled the covers over him.

**

"Get out here! We're supposed to be leaving!"

Bill jumped awake as David's voice came booming through the door. He groaned, remembering the party they had to attend. He stood up, looking around as Tom stepped into the room.

"David's pissed." The guitarist observed, staring at the door.

"Really." Bill rolled his eyes, searching for his pants. He could have sworn he left them on the couch.

"Bathroom."

Bill looked up as Tom pointed at the bathroom door.

"You left them on the bathroom counter."

Bill frowned, going into the bathroom and picking his jeans up off the counter. He shook his head as he pulled them on. What, was he having short term memory loss now too?

"Don't freak out, you were half asleep when you took them off."

"Oh."

"There you are with the 'oh' again." Tom teased, and Bill laughed.

"Whatever."

"Don't 'whatever' me, young man."

Bill looked up to see Tom glaring down at him from the doorway in a very angry motherly way. He snorted, doing up his zipper and shoving past his twin.

"_Whatever_." He stressed, smirking. After quickly slipping on his boots and fixing his hair and make up, Bill walked out the door into the hallway. He didn't look back as the door swung shut behind him in Tom's face, walking uncaringly down the hall towards where a very put off looking David stood.

"Took you long enough." David spat, glaring up at Bill. For his rather large temper, David was fairly short. Well, short compared to the twins at least. In reality, he was an average sized man.

"Love you too, hun." Bill teased, smiling. David shook his head, turning his attention to Tom.

"I sent you in to hurry him up ten minutes ago."

"No one could get the diva out of his room before his hair and make up were done. No one." Tom said, shrugging. David exhaled slowly, closing his eyes, before turning and storming off down the hall.

"Get the hell downstairs, we're late."

It was then that Bill noticed Georg and Gustav were already in the hall.

"Come on; let's go before he has a conniption." Georg snorted, starting after their manager. The others laughed, following closely behind.

Once down in the main lobby, Bill could hear what sounded like screaming girls.

"Are you serious? Do they _always_ know where we are?" He asked exasperated.

"Pretty much." Gustav shrugged.

Lovely, Bill thought, rolling his eyes. They stepped out into the parking lot, and were met by dozens of screaming girls being held back be several large body guards. They quickly climbed into the car that was waiting for them, and only once the car was on the road did Bill relax.

He usually didn't mind the attention, he thrived on it in fact, but it was starting to wear him down. The fans and the screaming girls were all good and well, but only for a time.

Bill looked up, surprised, as they stopped in front of the club. A lot more time had passed than he'd realized. They quickly jumped out of the car, walking quickly into the club as Jost hurried them along. It wasn't long after they entered the club before they were recognized. Even through all the flashing lights and the blasting music, people were rushing over to talk to them.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Tom growled. Bill looked around, not sure who his brother was referring to.

"Who?"

"Bushido."


	11. Where the Hell Are You?

Bill stared at Tom, confused.

"Bushido? Isn't he like, a rapper or something?"

"Yes, and he's here."

"Why does it matter?"

Tom looked at Bill, realizing Bill had no idea what had happened, and tried to smile.

"Nothing, just forget about it, 'kay?"

"But, what difference does it make?"

"Nothing, I was just surprised." Tom said, glancing across the room at the rapper once again. "Anyways, come on. We'd better start mingling before David flips out."

Bill watched for a moment as his brother walked off into the crowd, before following behind him. There were lots of people in the small club, and Bill swore the volume had risen ten fold in the last five minutes. But everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and the mood was starting to affect Bill. He smiled, starting to dance to a catchy pop tune that was playing through the speakers.

It had been several minutes since Bill had actually talked to anyone, and he could see David glaring at him from a ways away, so he moved to chat someone up. A strong hand grabbed his shoulder, and Bill turned to find a tall man smirking at him.

"Uhm, hello there." Bill said, unsure of whom it was he was looking at. The man's smile grew, and he stepped closer.

"Hello there yourself."

Bill stepped backwards, awkwardly trying to put some space between the man and himself.

"Can I help you?" He asked warily. The man's smile was starting to creep him out.

"That depends. What are you willing to help me out with?" The man laughed, stepping closer once more and placing his hand on Bill's hip.

"Fuck off."

Bill turned to see Tom standing there, glaring at the man.

"Tomi?"

The man laughed, and Bill flicked his gaze back to him.

"Tom. How goes it? No hard feelings, right?" He grinned toothily, lightly punching Tom's shoulder.

"Get your hand off my brother." Tom was glaring daggers at the man, and Bill was still confused. "Come on Bill." Tom grabbed Bill's hand, and pulled him away and out of the man's grasp.

"Tomi, who was that?" Bill asked once they were a fair distance away. Tom looked at him for a moment.

"Bushido."

"Why was he acting like that?"

Tom sighed and pulled Bill over to a booth to sit down.

"About six months ago, we ran into him at a club. You got drunk and disappeared, and we didn't hear from you until the next morning. We got a call from you at around 10 a.m. asking us to pick you up from his hotel room." Tom snorted, and Bill blushed.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I've never forgiven him for taking advantage of you like that."

Bill went silent, trying to imagine himself with Bushido. He scrunched up his nose and frowned at the table. Try as he might, he just couldn't picture it. He looked up as Georg slid into the booth next to him.

"Bushido try anything with Bill yet?"

"Yup." Tom said sourly, glaring back where they had left the rapper.

"Figures. We all knew he would." Georg said, shrugging. Bill frowned.

"Why didn't you warn me beforehand?"

Georg looked at Tom.

"You didn't?"

"No." Tom said, looking at Georg oddly. "I was actually hoping he'd leave him alone just this once."

Georg snorted.

"Right."

"You guys, David's gonna get pissed at you." Gustav said, walking over to their table. Tom and Georg sighed.

"I know, I know." Tom said, getting up. He looked down at Bill who was still sitting. "You stay with me."

Bill nodded, getting up and following Tom around. He sighed, letting his mind wander as Tom talked with some woman.

**

"So then… Then he was like 'It's not a co-share, its kosher!'" The man snorted, pounding the counter before him. Bill laughed rather loudly, the alcohol swirling deliciously in his head. They were still at the club, and Bill had no idea where any of the others were. He had somehow found himself at the bar with this balding man, drinking and trading bad jokes.

"Kosher? Aw, that's horrible…" Bill laughed again, spinning around in his chair and grinning like an idiot.

"I know! I know! So I told him, 'the only kosher I see, is… Is your parole officer!" The cracked up, barely staying in his chair. Bill giggled, his vision blurring as the room began to spin.

"Oh god, that's great." Bill sighed happily, signaling the bartender to bring him another drink. He had no idea what he'd been drinking the last hour, but it was working like a charm. The man turned to him now, suddenly looking serious.

"What's on your mind, boy?"

Bill took a long sip of the drink the bartender just handed him, thinking a moment.

"I can't remember… Anything before a month ago." He laughed loudly, although not really sure why. "I have friends, family, fame, love… But I can't remember any of it."

The man nodded, staring at him blankly, eyes drooping.

"That happened to me once."

"Really?" Bill asked, looking up interestedly.

"No, but I think I read a book about it." The man frowned, glaring down into his drink. Bill nodded, turning to look around the room. The music that had seemed too loud before seemed like just a dull humming now, but the flashing lights were making his stomach swirl.

"It sucks." Bill stated sourly. He wasn't even sure if the man was still listening, or if he even cared. "It's so overwhelming, the fame and everything. You know?" He turned to the drunken man beside him, who seemed to have passed out. "No, I guess you wouldn't know. You're just an old drunk."

Bill sighed, standing up, swaying dangerously as he did so. He was getting sick of being in the stupid club, and he wanted to leave.

**

Bill was surprised to find himself outside on the street, the noise of the club growing faint behind him. He was pretty sure their hotel was only a few blocks away, and he was pretty sure he was heading in the right direction. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and laughed as he realized it was almost 1 a.m.

An engine revved not too far behind him, and Bill turned to see a sleek black car pull up beside him. He kept walking, not all too interested in whoever it was in the car. That is, until the window rolled down and Bushido's head poked out.

"Need a ride?" Bushido asked. Bill shook his head still walking down the sidewalk. The rapper laughed.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Oh, I don't think you are."

Bill stopped walking to stare at the man in his car.

"And why is that?"

"Several reasons. First off, you're going the wrong way."

Bill frowned, looking around. True, his surroundings didn't seem familiar at all. Given, he spaced out the whole ride to the club.

"And how would you know where I'm headed to, anyways?"

"Easy. I'm stayin' at the same hotel. Besides, it's 3 miles to the hotel."

Bill sighed, looking back at the club, which was now several blocks away. He could see cars and lots of people, and was beginning to wish he hadn't left. If Bushido was telling the truth, he really did need a ride, though.

"Fine."

The car door swung open, and Bill grudgingly climbed into the back seat beside Bushido. Bushido signaled his driver to take them back to the hotel, and Bill sat glaring out the window.

"You're a moody little one, aren't you?" Bushido teased, chuckling. Bill turned to glare at him a moment, before returning his attention back to the window. It was only a few minutes before they reached the hotel, and Bill was both relieved and annoyed to have arrived.

Once in the lobby, Bill stopped walking and swore. Bushido turned to look at him, grinning.

"Forgot your room key, didn't you?"

Bill nodded, mentally kicking himself.

"You can come up to my room and call your brother or somebody." Bushido shrugged, turning and heading to the elevator. Bill sighed dramatically before following him.

"I'm beginning to like you less and less." He muttered, stepping into the small elevator behind the rapper. Bushido chuckled as the doors clanged closed.

**

"Where the hell is he?" Tom was fuming. Bill had disappeared around half an hour ago, and no one had seen him since. Worse yet, Bushido seemed to have disappeared at roughly the same time. Tom swore, walking over to Georg, sitting at a booth.

"What's up?" Georg asked, his arm around a busty red head. The girl giggled, climbing farther into his lap.

"Bill's missing."

"Wha—what?" Georg sputtered, blanching.

"He's gone. Don't know where he is. No one's seen him."

"Seriously? You have no idea?" Georg said, pushing the girl out of his lap and standing up.

"One idea, and I'm hoping I'm wrong."

"What's going on?" Gustav appeared beside them, looking confused.

"Bill's missing." Georg said, and Gustav swore. "But Tom says he might have some idea as to where he disappeared to. Tom?"

"Well, Bushido's gone too."

"Fuck." Georg said, and Gustav sat down.

"You don't think?"

"I hope not." Tom said, shaking his head. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out. He looked up quickly at his friends, an odd look on his face. "It's Bill."

Tom quickly answered the call as the phone vibrated again, bringing the phone up to his ear.

"Bill?" He asked hopefully.

_"Tomi." _

"Thank god, Bill. Where are you?"

_"Um." _

"Bill? Where the fuck are you?"

_"With Bushido." _

Tom looked up at his eager looking band mates.

"Fuck."


	12. Champagne For the Little Lion

"Why are you staring at me like I'm gonna rape you?" Bushido chuckled, and Bill glared at him.

"Are you?"

"Only if you want me to, babe." Bushido smiled, bending down to look through the mini bar. He stood up holding a champagne bottle. "Thirsty?"

"Not particularly."

"Suit yourself." Bushido shrugged, sitting down on the bed. Bill stood next to the dresser, on the other side of the room, arms crossed and glaring at the lounging rapper. After a moment, he sighed.

"Okay, I lied."

"About?" Bushido popped the cork out of the bottle.

"I'm thirsty."

"Then come drink."

"On the bed?" Bill raised an eyebrow.

Bushido looked up at him, smirking.

"Well, I'm not bringin' it over to you," he said.

Bill sighed, glancing around the room before walking over and sitting down on the foot of the bed.

"You gonna sit all the way down there?" Bushido asked, leaning back against the headboard.

"Maybe."

"You really are a moody little thing. I'll never understand how your brother deals with you." He shook his head, handing Bill a glass he had pulled out of a cabinet.

"What do you mean?" Bill asked, taking a small sip of the alcohol. Bushido sighed, smiling.

"Just, you're a handful. Both in life and in bed." Bushido watched Bill as he took a sip from his own glass. Bill blushed, looking at the wall.

"I don't remember that, you know."

"I know. I heard about the crash. How's that going for you, anyways?"

Bill looked up, surprised.

"Do you even care?"

"Maybe. Either way, it's probably better for you to talk about it." Bushido shrugged, glancing at the door. "Didn't your brother say he was on his way?"

"He said he was."

Bushido nodded.

"What was your first impression of me?"

"Huh?" Bill asked, cocking his head to the side.

"At the club."

"Oh." He said, looking down at his drink. "I wasn't sure what to think, honestly. It's the first time anything like that's happened to me. At least that I remember."

"So, little lion. Wanna tell me about the whole losin' your memory thing?"

"Did you just call me little lion?"

"Yeah, I did. You didn't seem to mind the last time you were in my hotel room." Bushido laughed, his eyes flashing, and Bill blushed again.

"It's weird. Like I was telling some guy at the club, I have all these friends and family, but I barely know them." Bill said quietly.

"You told that to a guy at the club?"

Bill looked up.

"Yeah, but he was drunk and I don't think he was listening."

Bushido laughed, and for the first time that night Bill appreciated the fact that the man had a nice laugh. He smiled, finally relaxing.

"Were you drunk?" Bushido asked, offering Bill more champagne. Bill shrugged.

"Kinda."

"Ah."

Bill's head was starting to feel heavy, and he didn't think it was from the alcohol. He carefully crawled towards Bushido, collapsing onto a pillow beside him.

"Tired?" The rapper teased.

"Mmf." Bill's voice was muffled, and Bushido raised an eyebrow.

"Come again?"

Bill raised his head up; thankful he had finished his glass of champagne before he collapsed, as it was now lying next to him on the bed.

"I said, yes. I have been all day."

"They wearin' you out? Little lion shouldn't be livin' the life of a rock star. Too much action, not enough sleep for a little kitty." Bushido teased, and Bill huffed.

"'M not a kitty."

"If you remembered that night you spent with me, you'd know you are."

"Stop referencing that. It's only confusing me." Bill pressed his face down into the pillows. "And embarrassing." He mumbled. Bushido laughed, taking Bill's glass and placing it on the bedside table.

"Sleep, little kitty. It'll come to you, eventually. And when it does, you'll be runnin' back to me."

Bill groaned into the pillow and rolled over as the light was clicked off. His eyes fluttered faintly as he felt lips being pressed gently against his own, but he was asleep before he had time to respond.

**

Bill's eyes snapped open to a very loud banging sound. He had no idea where he was, all he knew was that it was dark, and that he felt like shit. He tried to roll over, but realized he couldn't. Something was draped over him, and it was then that he felt soft breaths on the side of his face. He paled slightly as he remembered falling asleep in Bushido's hotel room, in Bushido's bed.

"Fuck." He said quietly as there were several more bangs, and loud shouting. He couldn't quite make out what the person was yelling, but they sounded livid. Bushido groaned beside him, rolling over and flipping on the lamp.

"Sounds like your brother's here." He groaned, getting up and trudging over to the door. Bill closed his eyes and groaned as he heard the lock on the door click, and the door banged open.

"Where the hell is he?" Tom's voice rang through the room, making Bill's head pound and his vision go momentarily white. He opened his eyes as Tom burst into the room, and was instantly kneeling beside him on the bed. "What did you do to him?" Tom demanded of Bushido.

"He was drunk, and he fell asleep. Not my fault." Bushido groaned, rubbing his eyes hard with his palms. Tom turned back to stare down at Bill, who realized if he didn't get to the bathroom right then, Bushido was going to have a mess on his bed.

"Fuck, move!" Bill pushed Tom out of the way, jumping up and running into the small bathroom. He flung open the toilet seat before dropping to his knees and emptying the contents of his stomach into the white porcelain bowl.

Bill spit into the toilet, trying to rid his mouth of the harsh taste. He leaned on the toilet for a few seconds, just breathing. He could hear his brother and Bushido in the other room arguing, and it was starting to get on his nerves. His legs shook as he slowly stood up, and he yawned as he stepped out of the bathroom and leaned against the wall.

"What did he do to you?" Tom demanded, still glaring at Bushido.

"Nothing, Tomi. I was walking back to the hotel…"

"Going the wrong way." Bushido added, and Bill frowned.

"Yes, going the wrong way… And he offered me a ride. When we got to the hotel, I realized I didn't have my room key." Bill yawned again, wishing he was back in bed, Bushido's or his own, he didn't really care.

"You could have gone to the front desk and gotten another key."

"Oh." Bill frowned. "Why didn't you tell me that?" He asked, looking up at Bushido.

"You were half asleep, and you were drunk. I wasn't about to just leave you alone." The rapper shrugged.

"A likely story," Tom drawled, and Bill rolled his eyes.

"Besides, Tomi. It was his idea that I call you to come get me. Now can we leave? I want to go back to my own room and sleep."

Tom nodded, glaring at Bushido once more before dragging Bill from the room.

"See ya little lion." Bushido called from the doorway, and Bill waved lazily behind him.

"What did he just call you?" Tom asked as they stepped into the elevator.

"Dunno." Bill said, smiling softly to himself.

**

"Don't ever do that again." David glared down at Bill who was sitting in a booth at the hotel restaurant, having breakfast. Tom and the others were all seated around him, and none of them were really paying their manager any mind.

"Yes David." Bill said, putting down his now empty milk glass. David glared at them all for a moment, before storming off.

"Thank god we're going home today." Gustav sighed happily around his mouthful of pancakes and eggs. Georg nodded vigorously from beside him. Tom, however, had barely said a word all morning.

"Tomi? What's wrong?" Bill asked sympathetically, placing a hand on his twins arm. Tom glared at him before going back to his waffle.

"I think he's pissed about last night." Georg mused, laughing.

"Yeah, but we forgive you, right Georg?" Gustav laughed, nudging the bassist with his elbow. Georg nodded.

"But of course."

"You guys are morons." Bill laughed, his mood lightening a bit. He looked back at Tom who was still sulking, and his smile faded a bit. They had another long flight later that morning, and Bill hoped Tom would cheer up a bit before then.

"I'm gonna go pack." Tom said shortly, getting up quickly and walking off.

"He didn't even finish his waffle." Georg clucked disapprovingly, shaking his head.

"I'll go talk to him." Bill said, standing and following after his brother. He rounded a corner and started down a hallway towards the elevator, stopping dead in his tracks halfway down the hall.

He could see Tom in the elevator at the end of the hall, but he wasn't alone. Bill's anger flared up as the elevator doors closed, hiding from view a very smug looking Tom, with a giggling girl fawning over him.


	13. Not the Most Brilliant Idea

Tears streaming down his face, Bill took a seat in the back of the bus. He couldn't take it anymore, everything was getting overwhelming.

He'd handled the screaming girls, the performing, and the interviews. Hell, he'd even come to some sort of understanding about his more than weird feelings for his twin.

But enough was enough. He wanted to get away from everything, everyone, especially Tom.

Tom had been an asshole ever since last night, and Bill couldn't figure out why. Yeah, he'd accepted Bushido's offer for a ride. But if he hadn't, he would have been lost in an unfamiliar town. Sure, he'd gone up to Bushido's room with him. But he didn't have his room key, and it had only been so he could have somewhere to wait for Tom.

And so what if Bushido had kissed him, it's not like Bill had asked him to.

Wait, Bushido kissed him?

"Fuck," He hissed quietly, attracting a few odd looks from the passengers around him. He'd forgotten that Bushido kissed him; he had been falling asleep when it happened.

Okay, so maybe Tom did have a reason to be mad at him. But, it's not like Tom even knew that had happened, right?

So why would Tom go flirt with some girl, after making things official with Bill the night before?

They were official, right? Bill had said he'd wanted to try it, but did that make them a couple? Bill shivered slightly. A couple? That didn't sound right.

Did Tom think Bill only wanted to try things sexually, and Tom could just do whatever he wanted with random girls? Had things been like that before? If so, Bill decided he didn't want anything to do with whatever his brother had in mind.

Huffing angrily, Bill plunged a hand into his jacket pocket, searching for his phone. He had no idea how long it had been since he'd boarded the bus, and he was wondering what time it was.

Bill paled as his hand brushed the bottom of the pocket, finding nothing but lint and an old gum wrapper. He frantically searched his other pockets, to no avail.

Great, so he was on a bus to who knows where, with no phone. Well, this plan was going brilliantly.

**

"Hey Tom. What's up?" Georg asked as Tom stepped out into the hotel hall. "Not much. Why?"

"I was thinking we could catch a movie or something. Gustav and I are bored out of our minds."

Tom looked around the empty hall.

"Where is Gustav?"

"In his room getting a jacket. Wanna come with, though? Awesome action movie just came out. Sure, it'll be in Spanish, but who really needs dialogue when stuff's blowing up?" Georg asked, grinning. Tom laughed.

"Alright. Let's go."

Gustav stepped out into the hall then, jacket in hand.

"You comin'?" He asked, and Tom nodded.

"Where's Bill?" Tom asked, just noticing his brother's absence.

"Dunno. Didn't he come up and talk to you? Said he was gonna apologize or something." Georg said, shrugging. Tom shook his head.

"No, I haven't seen him since I left."

"Huh. He must be in his room or something. I say we should leave him alone, he's been so tired lately."

Tom nodded, and the three of them headed off to the movies.

**

"Dude, that movie was fucking awesome! Like when he drove the car off the top of that building!" Georg said excitedly, making a sound effect vaguely resembling an explosion. Tom and Gustav laughed.

"That one chick was so hot." Gustav said, shaking his head and smiling. "But seriously, that dress covered barely anything."

"I think that was the point, Gus." Tom teased, pushing the drummer.

"I know! I'm just sayin'…" Gustav said, frowning but still laughing.

"Hey, you guys wanna grab something to eat before we head upstairs?" Georg asked as they stepped into the lobby of their hotel. Gustav checked his watch.

"Sure, but then we gotta pack. We're leaving for the airport in an hour." He stated, and Tom nodded.

"I'll call Bill, see if he wants to come down and eat." Tom said, digging a hand into the depths of his pocket, and pulling it back out cell phone in hand. He quickly hit the speed dial for Bill's cell, frowning as it rang several times and went to voice mail. "Huh. He must be asleep." Tom shrugged, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

"You sure you don't wanna try again?" Georg asked.

"If he's not asleep, he obviously doesn't want to answer the phone." Tom shrugged again. "Now come on, I'm starved."

**

"Bill?" Tom called, knocking on the door connecting his hotel room to his brother's. When no one replied, Tom pushed the door open gently; expecting to find Bill sprawled out across the large bed.

Tom stepped into Bill's room, only to find it empty. He frowned, quickly walking over and checking the also empty bathroom.

Okay, so Bill wasn't in his room. Maybe he'd gone downstairs or something.

He stepped back out into the main part of the room, glancing around. He paled as his eyes landed on the bedside table, or more specifically, Bill's phone.

Tom swore, swiftly pulling out his phone and calling Georg. The bassist's voice came over the line after several rings.

"Tom?"

"Georg, Bill's gone."

"What do you mean, gone? I'm sure he just went to get something to eat or something."

"Without his phone?" Tom asked, sitting down heavily on his little brother's bed. He could still smell his twin, sweet smelling with a hint of strawberry. Tom breathed it in, smiling to himself before remembering what was happening, and frowned.

"He left his phone?"

"Yeah, it's right here." Tom said, picking the cell up off the table and looking at it sadly. Bill always took his phone with him, even when he was just going to the bathroom. He had asked Bill why he did that once, and Bill had replied that he didn't ever want to miss a call.

But that had been a long time ago, and now Bill was gone somewhere, without his phone. Without his lifeline. Tom swore, jumping up and running over to the door leading out into the hall. He quickly made his way down the hall to Gustav's room, knocking harshly.

"You gonna talk to Gus?" Georg asked suddenly, startling Tom, who had forgotten about the cell phone he still held up to his ear.

"Yeah, doin' that now."

"I'll be over in a second." Tom heard a click, and the line went dead. He shoved his phone back into his pocket as an annoyed looking Gustav opened the door.

"What now?" Gustav asked.

"Bill's gone. Don't know where he is, he left his phone in his room."

"He—What?" Gustav's irritated expression instantly faded, and he let Tom into his room. Georg ran in then, just catching the door before it swung shut.

"Have you called Saki or anything?" Georg asked, looking from Tom to Gustav. Both boys shook their heads, and Georg nodded. "'Kay, I'll run downstairs and talk to him. He'll be livid when he finds out Bill took off." With that, Georg was gone from the room.

"Shit." Gustav said, sitting down on his bed. Tom looked at him quickly, pacing back and forth across the room.

"Why would he have left?" He stopped, turning to glare down at the drummer, as if Gustav was hiding something under his red baseball cap.

"How should I know? He was fine when he left the restaurant this morning. A little miffed at you, maybe, but fine." Gustav shrugged, sighing loudly and shoving his face in his palms. "He said he was gonna go talk to you, and ran off after you down towards the elevator."

"The elevator…" Tom mumbled softly, and then swore under his breath. The girl in the elevator; Bill must have seen her.

"What?" Gustav asked, looking up. Tom shook his head, walking towards the door.

"I'm gonna go talk to Saki and David."

Gustav opened his mouth to protest, but Tom was already gone from the room.

**

Bill sighed and climbed down the steps of the bus, stepping down onto the sidewalk and looking around. He had stayed on the bus until the last stop, when the driver had started speaking to him in Spanish. He looked back at the bus as it pulled away, before turning and walking down the street.

He appeared to be in a more run down part of the city, and looking back, he couldn't see any sign of the hotel. Or anything else familiar, for that matter. He cringed as he passed a raggedy man asleep on a bench, and started to think that maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

Bill took a deep breath before crossing the street, heading towards what appeared to be a train depot. As he neared the station, he discovered the windows and doors were all boarded up, and several of the windows were either covered in graffiti or broken. A gunshot went off in the distance, and Bill paled. This was _definitely_ not a good idea.


	14. One Hell of a Day

"Oi!"

Bill ignored the yell, and kept walking. God, he hoped it wasn't the creepy balding man calling to him.

"Oi!"

'Fuck, just go away!' Bill thought, quickly turning a corner. He was thankful as he walked briskly down the alleyway, to see that it wasn't a dead end. That would have been just magnificent.

"Oi!" The man called again, and Bill glanced over his shoulder. Yes, the creepy balding man was _definitely_ yelling at him. He took a deep breath, walking faster as he turned another corner, coming onto a street with more people. He practically jogged down the sidewalk for a whole block, before looking behind him. The man was gone.

Bill let out a ragged breath, looking around. Several people were looking at him strangely, but most everyone was ignoring him. That suited Bill just fine.

"Bill. Bill Kaulitz?"

Bill turned to see a girl roughly a few years younger than himself looking up at him.

"Yes?" He asked warily, and the girl practically beamed.

"You are lost?" She asked, and Bill could barely understand her German, broken as it was and masked by her thick Spanish accent. He thought a moment, not sure what he should say.

"Sort of. Where am I, exactly?"

Several more people were looking at him oddly, and it was making Bill nervous. The girl laughed, gesturing around with a hand.

"Barcelona. Bad part Barcelona." She said, smiling softly. "What you do here?"

"Uhm. I kinda, got mad and left. But now I don't know where the hell I am. I'm kinda regretting it now." He said, flinching slightly. She nodded, grinning wide again.

"You come my house! You use phone, yes?" She nodded again, and Bill smiled.

"Yes, thank you."

**

Tom winced as David's eyes practically exploded in his head.

"He what?" He yelled, and Tom kicked the floor. As if he hadn't been feeling bad that Bill disappeared already, Jost had to go and make it worse. David always made things worse.

"He was fine this morning!" Tom yelled back, momentarily losing control. He sighed, closing his eyes for a second. "Although I think I might know why he left."

"You better have a good fucking explanation." David glared at him, and Tom glanced over at where Saki was giving Georg hell.

"Well, I've been kind of an ass to him since last night. I mean, I shouldn't have taken it out on him, but I did. And then, I think he saw me in the elevator with a girl. That's the last time any of us saw him." Tom got quiet towards the end, fidgeting with his shirt. He didn't want to be standing there explaining things to Jost, he wanted to be out looking for his twin. Jost frowned at him.

"And why would that have made him angry?"

"Ehm, well we kinda had a talk… And I said I'd stay away from girls for a while. We said we should be spending time together, trying to make him remember things." Tom stumbled over his words, trying to explain away something he couldn't tell his manager. Jost nodded, seeming to accept the story.

"Alright. First things first, we need to alert the local authorities. Come on, you're explaining this to them, not me." Jost glared at Tom once more, before storming off. Tom sighed, checking his phone quickly, before running after David and pulling Georg along with him.

**

Tom sighed, shifting in the hard wooden chair.

"I already told you. He lost his memory, and we decided to spend more time together. He was probably just mad that I went back on our deal." Tom glared down at the table in front of him, not wanting to look up at the police officer, or Jost. David was standing beside him, looking stern.

"And that's the last you saw him?" The officer pressed.

"Yes." Tom was greatly annoyed at being stuck in a police station, when he should be out looking. No matter how many times everyone assured him there was nothing he could do, he didn't believe them. His phone rang in his pocket, and he pulled out on reflex.

"Son, this is important. No phone calls." The officer said, glaring at him, but Tom didn't hear him. He didn't recognize the number, but who in Spain would call him other than his brother? He jumped up and quickly ran from the room, answering the phone and bringing it to his ear.

"Hello?" He was amazed the phone didn't break or something, he was squeezing it so hard. The line was silent a moment.

_"Tomi."_

Tom heard a soft sob through the phone, and he glanced back over his shoulder at Jost, who was glaring daggers at him.

"Bill," He said softly, not wanting to alert anyone else just yet. "Where are you?"

_"Tomi, please come get me. I don't want to be alone anymore."_ Bill cried softly, and Tom's heart broke.

"Don't worry, I'm coming. Just tell me where to go." Tom said, walking out of the police station, not looking back until he was in the van. He signaled for the driver to go, and then sat back in the seat. "Don't worry Bill, I'll be there soon."

**

"Tomi!" Bill cried, throwing himself into his brother's arms. It had been just over half an hour since he'd called his twin, and the wait had been torturous.

"Oh god, Billa. I love you, please don't ever leave like that again." Tom cried softly into Bill's neck, stroking his little brother's soft black hair. He felt Bill sob against him, and he held him tighter.

"Tomi." Bill said, pulling back. "I'm sorry I left. I know it was stupid, but I was so mad. So fucking pissed." He smiled softly, wiping the tears from his eyes, and turned around in Tom's arms. There were several people standing awkwardly before him, and Bill looked at the girl who had helped them. "Thank you." He said softly, and the girl nodded, waving goodbye.

"Come on, Bill." Tom said softly into Bill's ear, pulling him out of the small house and over to the van. Once inside, Bill sighed.

"Tomi, I don't want to go back yet. It's too much, I can't handle it all." Tom nodded, taking Bill's hand in his.

"I'll talk to Jost. Now that the tour's over, he might let us go home for a bit."

Bill was silent for a moment, staring at their hands.

"Tomi, I saw that girl. The girl in the elevator." He said softly, and Tom glanced warily up at the driver. Even though they were in the back and the driver probably couldn't hear them, he pulled Bill closer and spoke softly.

"She was just a girl. I got in the elevator, and she was already in there. She said she was a fan, and she had a few questions. She got out several floors before I did." He said, petting Bill's hair again. Bill sobbed softly, tears streaming down his face once more.

"I'm so sorry, Tomi. I saw you and her, and I… I just overreacted. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I would have freaked if I were you." Tom glanced up at the driver again, before quickly kissing Bill's lips. Bill smiled.

"I'm hungry."

Tom laughed.

"I'll bet you are!"

**

"Oh god, Bill!" Georg cried out as they climbed out of the van in front of the hotel. Tom had called them about ten minutes prior, told them Bill was safe and they were just finishing up eating, and they'd be back soon.

"Georg." Bill said softly, and Georg quickly pulled him into a tight hug, making Bill squeak.

"Don't ever fucking do that again, you hear?" Georg reprimanded, smiling sadly at the singer. Bill nodded, looking over at Gustav, who smiled as well.

"Can I just go to bed please?" He asked. He'd had a rather long and trying day, and just wanted to sleep. Tom laughed.

"Yeah. Georg, take him upstairs. I'm gonna talk to Jost about going home, then I'll be up there too."

Bill was silent as he and the G's made their way upstairs and into Bill's room. All three boys were tired, but Bill most of all. Once at his door, he bade his friends goodbye, and closed the door behind him. He sighed, already kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the messy bed. He didn't even bother peeling his clothes off as he pulled the blankets up to his neck, and breathed deeply into the pillow.

God, he'd missed being in a bed.

**

Bill opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the darkness. He felt someone shifting beside him, and rolled over.

"Tomi?"

"Yeah. Go back to sleep, Billa." Tom said softly, pulling Bill close to him. Bill nodded and closed his eyes, curling up against his brother.


	15. Memories of Us

"Yes David." Bill said softly, and their manager glared at him one last time before storming off. They had requested time off to go home, and he agreed, only after giving Bill a rather long lecture on running off.

"I'm pretty sure he thinks you'll disappear again if he let's you out of his sight." Tom mused, laughing. Bill laughed quietly, finally smiling a bit. It seemed he had been in a foul mood since he got back, and was relieved to feel it lighten.

"Shouldn't we pack? We need to leave here in an hour, if Jost actually books the flight he said he would." Bill said, looking around for their band mates. They had left the G's at a table in the restaurant when David came storming in.

"Probably. And, the G's already went upstairs. I saw them sneak by Jost a minute ago." Tom added, smiling, and Bill laughed.

"You know me too well, Tomi." Bill teased, sticking out his bottom lip in a mock pout. Tom laughed, ruffling up Bill's hair and pushing him in the direction of the elevators.

**

"It's official, I hate planes," Bill groaned, stretching as they walked down the walkway off the plane, into the airport. Tom laughed.

"Yeah, but it feels good to be back in Germany." He pointed at a small diner a little ways down the terminal. "Want to grab a bite to eat here before we head home?" Bill nodded, already making his way towards the restaurant.

Once they were seated and had already ordered, both boys sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Bill stared at his brother, a soft smile on his face, as Tom stared off into space, occasionally messing with his silverware.

"Tomi," Bill finally piped up, and Tom glanced up at him, dropping his napkin back onto the table.

"Yeah?"

"I'm tired."

"I'm tired too, Bill. When we get home, you can go straight upstairs and sleep in your own bed. God, I can't wait to finally have my own mattress back," Tom groaned, grinning. Bill just shook his head, looking down at his empty glass and spinning it slowly.

"I don't want to sleep in my bed, Tomi."

"Hmm? Why not?" Tom cocked his head to the side. Bill just sighed, mumbling something that sounded like 'never mind'. Tom was about to press, but the waitress returned with their food. He smiled and thanked her, watching Bill as they ate.

**

"Why on earth didn't you show these to me last time we were here?" Bill laughed, flipping through another page of the photo album. They were back at home, in Bill's room.

"Shit, I guess I didn't think about them," Tom said, squinting at a picture. "Can you believe we were that small?" he asked, shoving the album towards his brother. Bill looked down at the snapshot and laughed again.

"Hell no. I don't even remember being that young." He shook his head, raising an eyebrow at Tom.

"Right," Tom mumbled, and Bill's heart dropped. He wished he did remember, if more for his twin's sake than his own.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and Tom's head shot up.

"What for? You have nothing to be sorry about." He sighed. "I just, forget sometimes, is all. I'm the one who should be sorry." Tom smiled, looking back down at the photos and flipping to another page. Bill groaned, sitting up from where he had been laying on his stomach on his bed, and flopped back against the wall.

"You know, sometimes I start to wonder if…" he trailed off, sighing loudly. "Never mind. You know what? I'm actually getting a little hungry." Bill smiled, the sorrow still lingering in his eyes.

"Well, Mom should have dinner ready soon."

"What's she making?"

"Greek macaroni."

Bill made a face, groaning.

"I have no idea what that is, but it sounds disgusting," he said, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, it's not as bad when Mom makes it." Tom laughed.

"I hope you're right."

**

"Hey, Andi," Bill said, plopping down on the couch beside the bleach blonde. Andreas looked up, grinning at Tom who was standing behind them, leaning on the sofa. They had decided to drop in on their best friend, as a bit of a surprise.

"Don't even knock any more, eh?" he asked, making a 'tsk' sound. Bill laughed.

"Have we ever?" he asked slyly, cocking an eyebrow. Andreas stared at him a moment, then laughed as well.

"No, I guess you haven't." Andreas shook his head, looking back up at Tom. "You can sit, you know." Tom shrugged, and Andreas turned back to Bill. "Remember anything yet?"

"Nope." Bill shook his head, frowning. "Nothing at all." Andreas frowned.

"It's been over a month, you should be remembering things by now," he stated, and Bill's face dropped. Tom smacked Andreas upside the head, and leant down next to Bill's head.

"It'll come to you, don't worry."

Bill made a noncommittal sound and shrugged. "Maybe."

"You see, there's your problem," Andreas said, sounding for all the world as if he were intelligent. "You really won't remember if you keep doubting that you will all the time." He nodded, as if to add emphasis. Tom snorted.

"And since when are you an expert?"

"Well, actually… I once had a friend whose cousin knew this guy that was dating this girl… And she said—"

"Forget it; I don't think I want to know," Tom said, cutting him off and shaking his head. Bill laughed.

"Anyways," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "What do you want to do today, Andi?"

Andreas was silent a moment, randomly glancing around the room.

"We could always go bother Boo Radley," he joked, receiving another smack from Tom.

"Seriously, Andi."

"Who's Boo Radley?" Bill asked, and both boys turned to look at him.

"Er, a character from a book. _To Kill A Mockingbird._" Tom shrugged.

"Oh," Bill said, frowning slightly. "Do you have any ideas that aren't fictional?" he asked, turning to Andreas again. Andreas sighed.

"I guess we could go down to the creek." He shrugged.

"That's a good idea! Bill always loved the creek." Tom smiled at Bill, who just looked confused.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Andreas grinned.

**

"I used to love this?" Bill asked incredulously, wrinkling up his nose. He figured it would have been fine, if there had been less bugs. Tom looked over at him and swore, swatting at Bill's arm as a mosquito landed there.

"Shit, I forgot about the mosquitoes. We better not stay too long. Unless you brought repellent, Andi?" Tom asked hopefully, looking at his friend who rolled his eyes.

"Duh. I'm not _that_ stupid," he said, pulling a bottle out of his pocket and handing it to Bill. Bill took the bottle and slowly began to apply the repellant.

"What difference does a little mosquito bite make?" He asked, handing the bottle back to Andreas.

"Shit Bill, you're allergic." Andreas said, shoving the bottle back in his pocket. Tom gently placed a hand on Bill's forearm.

"Deathly allergic. You ended up in the hospital from a bite once."

"I _what_?" Bill practically shrieked. "Why don't people tell me these things?" Tom flinched.

"It didn't exactly occur to me that I would need to," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"God, do you know how many times I've almost been bitten, and just happened to smack the stupid bug in time?"

Tom flinched again. "I know, I really should have thought to tell you."

Bill sighed, looking around. "So, what's so great about this place anyways?"

"Memories, I guess." Tom said, smiling apologetically at his twin. Bill rolled his eyes.

"Oh shit," Andreas mumbled, looking at his watch. "I gotta get home, or my mom'll kill me." He waved at the twins, before rushing off. Bill sighed, and frowned as Tom plopped down on the ground, in the dirt.

"Sit." Tom commanded, gesturing to the space next to him. Bill made a face and shook his head.

"I'd rather not get dirty, thanks." He laughed, and then squeaked as Tom pulled him down into his lap. "Or I guess I could just sit on you." Tom laughed.

"We've had a lot of fun times here," Tom said softly, nuzzling his face into the back of Bill's neck. Bill sighed contentedly, leaning back into his brother's hold.

"Mmm," he hummed. "Like what?" Tom laughed again, the sound muffled against Bill's skin.

"Like the time me and Andreas strapped a Piccolo Pete to the Turner's cat during the summer. You refused to take part, saying it was cruelty to animals. That didn't stop you from watching, though." Tom snorted.

"God, did we do that?" Bill groaned, and Tom smiled.

"Yeah. It was great," he sighed. "Hey, I wanna show you something." Tom started to stand up, forcing a disgruntled Bill to his feet. Tom grabbed his hand, and started dragging him off towards a clump of trees. They plowed through branches and underbrush, much to Bill's distaste, before reaching a small clearing.

"God, this brings back memories." Tom smiled, looking around at the small space. Bill just stood awkwardly beside him.

"Not really," he said quietly, and Tom threw an arm around him.

"Wanna know my favorite memory of our little hiding spot?"

"Our hiding spot?" Bill asked, looking down at the dirt. The space couldn't have been more than five feet across. Tom nodded, sitting down and pulling Bill with him. Bill made a small gasping sound as his butt hit the dirt. "Gross," he said, looking up at Tom, who laughed.

"Yeah, we used to spend a lot of time here. Just you, me, and the insect repellent," he joked, nudging Bill gently.

"Be serious. You said you have a favorite memory. What is it?"

Tom hummed something for a moment, before closing his eyes and lying back on the ground. Bill laughed as he saw Tom had to keep his knees bent, else he would be lying in the bushes.

"Our fifteenth birthday. Mom was being bitchy for once, and we left the house in the middle of our own party to come out here. First and only time I've ever had sex outside." He smiled, cracking an eye open to peek at his twin. Bill blushed, coughing softly.

"In the dirt?" he asked.

"In the dirt." Tom laughed. "Given, you went straight home after and stayed in the shower longer than I had thought humanly possible." Bill smiled.

"That actually sounds really kinky," he said, lying down next to Tom. Tom smiled and wrapped his arms around him, rolling over on top of him.

"Wanna try it?"

Bill just laughed, before his face slowly fell.

"Tomi?"

"Yup."

Bill sighed, considering putting it off again. No, he decided, the longer I wait the harder it'll be.

"I need to tell you something." He waited a beat, to see if Tom would say anything. When he didn't, Bill continued. "I've been thinking a lot since I woke up in the hospital. And I think I've come to a realization." He sighed again. Tom rolled off him, squeezing his side slightly for reassurance.

"I don't think I'm going to remember anything," he blurted out, hoping saying it fast would make it hurt less, like ripping off a band-aid.

"Don't worry, Bill, you—"

"No, I'm serious. It's not so much an idea anymore. I _know_ I'm not going to remember anything. I've known for a while. I just…" he took a deep breath. "I was afraid to tell you."

"Why would you be afraid to tell me anything?" Tom asked, finally opening his eyes and looking at his twin.

"I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to make you sad." Bill was almost surprised to feel a tear running down his face. He closed his eyes slowly as Tom reached a hand over, wiping his cheek dry.

"Bill, nothing you do could ever make me sad. Even if you left me for someone else, I'd be happy if you were happy." Tom smiled. "And besides, you have no idea how relieved I was when you woke up after the crash. I thought I was going to lose you, no matter how many times the doctors told me you were okay. I never believed them, not until you woke up."

"You're not mad?" Bill asked, opening his eyes and peering curiously at his older brother.

"Never."

"Then, I have a request."

"Ask away, dear." Tom teased.

"Help me learn again?"

"Hmm? Learn what?" Tom sat up as Bill stood.

"Help me learn how to be loved by the most amazing person in the world," Bill said, practically beaming. Tom chuckled, standing up as well.

"And the lessons begin," he said, leaning in and gently kissing his favorite person. His favorite Bill.

Fin.


End file.
